Saturday, October 27, 2012

Buns of Steel

I'm celebrating today. You see I have now entered the ranks of those with buns of steel. Last night for the very first time ever I broke an implement with my butt.

I managed to get myself in hot water on Thursday for forgetting a chore. It didn't help that the chore in question was one of Steve's pet peeves. After he spanked me, he told me I had to do it the next day. He also said if it wasn't done when he got home, there would be dire consequences. He spelled out those consequences in explicit detail so there was no question that he was serious about it. It wasn't a pretty picture. It never is when it involves your most hated implements, the words deliberate disobedience and a promise of not sitting easily afterwards.

I have a bad habit of procrastinating. Even though I know it's better to get stuff done early so I can relax for the rest of the day, I put stuff off. If I happen to remember the chore during the day, I check the clock to see how much time I have left and then put it off some more. I keep putting it off until I'm down to an hour, sometimes less. Then I rush around in a frenzy to get stuff done.

A lot of times it works. This time wasn't one of them. Since the chore would only take me a few minutes to do, I put it off until the last minute. Steve got home earlier than I expected and I was busted.

Later that evening we were in the bedroom. Him swatting fast and furious. Me laid across the pillow struggling to stay still and submit to the spanking. About halfway through the spanking, I thought I heard a faint snap. A few seconds later Steve said "Well that didn't last long."

I looked up from the pillow I had my face buried in to find him holding the handle of the paint stirring stick in his hand with the upper part of it hanging down. Apparently he hadn't realized it broke until he went to swat me again with it and felt the upper part hit his hand. I cracked up.

He let me have my laugh for a minute before continuing on with the remaining implements. I ended up getting off a little easier than Steve planned thanks to our dog. He's a small dog, but thinks he's a lot bigger. He's also very protective of our family, especially me. He has got between me and Steve before and once bit the wooden spoon I was being spanked with.

But for some reason we forgot to put him out like we usually do. About the time the paint stick broke, he realized what was going on and came rushing out of the blanket to protect me. He started barking and growling at Steve. When that didn't work, he got in between us to block the swats. After moving him a few times and having him get right back in the way, Steve gave up.

I think my little hero deserves a steak. Then I'm going to go do a Buns of Steel workout. Now that I know my butt can break an implement, I'm setting my goal for the wooden spoon and hanger.


  1. Good for you, Dana and what a heroic little doggie you have there. He obviously loves you very much.
    I like I have buns like marshmallows because I haven't broken anything, except my own will to resist.
    Have a nice weekend.

    1. Thanks for stopping by Lillie. He's my little hero, ready to protect me from everyone including my family. As for breaking the implement, it was funny but I was not expecting that to happen.

  2. You have a champ of a home and family protector in your little dog :) More husbands need to take a lesson from little dogs: how to man up and be the protectors of their wives. P.S. You may want to rethink your goals - a wooden spoon (unless its the flimsy sort) can wear you out - you won't want to be waiting for it to break on your tender bottom :)

    1. Thanks OFM. He's quite the protector. Of course Steve is as well. After thinking about it for a bit and taking another look at our spoon (since I'm normally feeling it rather than seeing it), I think that goal might have been a little ambitious.

  3. Lol Dana, love this! Yep, my buns have broken an implement of two as well - although I'm not sure whether it was my buns or more vigorous use! - most likely the flimsy nature of the implement :)

    What a wonderful little doggie you have there. The small does always think they're a lot bigger don't they? Lol

    Hmm, I'm with OFM, you might want to rethink your goals - sounds like a painful experiment :)

    1. Roz, it probably was the flimsy nature. When I first got it, Steve said he didn't think it would last long. Since it's the first implement I've broke, I still got a kick out of it.

      The little ones do think they're bigger. We have several. The smallest one is barely four pounds and she's not scared of anything or anyone.

      I think I am going to rethink my goal. But I have to admit I won't be sad if that spoon does break.

  4. Hi Dana :)

    That's it....I am getting a small dog ;) That sounds like the best way to protect my bottom....well, I guess I COULD learn how to behave. The dog sounds faster and more like to happen in that situation ;)

    I agree with OFM,do not wait for the spoon to break.....I promise you will break before it does :( See why I am all for turning them into crafts around here??

    I have never broken an implement....I will join Lillie in the marshmallow club......

    Have a great day :D


    1. Hi Lucy.

      We have puppies that will be weaned in a couple weeks. Maybe I should sell them as a bottom protection tool. ;)

      Yeah I'm rethinking the goal of breaking the spoon. I am still plotting on doing something to liven it up though. I wonder how hard it would be to rig confetti to explode out of it. Can you just see it? Steve will go to swat me with it and as soon as he does, confetti goes everywhere. LOL


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