Monday, October 15, 2012
How to Panic a HoH
I've been thinking.
Okay, about what?
I've been thinking that I want to go back to the way things were before.
For the record, I wasn't talking about doing away with domestic discipline. I was talking about the system for getting housework done. When we first started, Steve would give me a few things to do each day. It might be cleaning out the fridge, making some important phone calls or doing a load of laundry. I always had at least two chores, but usually no more than five. If he knew one of the chores was a time-consuming one, he'd only give me a couple chores. On days that the chores were easy ones, I would get more. You get the idea.
The only problem with that system is that he sometimes forgot to give me chores and I'd end up with a chore-free day. Not that I'm complaining, but things weren't getting done. And he didn't always notice other things that needed to be done and I wasn't exactly forthcoming about those. So we decided a new system was in order.
I did a little research and settled on the FlyLady system. Each day had specific chores. For instance, I decided that Mondays were when I would dust and wash towels. Each week focused on a specific area of the house. Ideally the area would be done by the end of the week, but the goal was to spend some time each day working on that area. I wrote out the plan and took it to Steve for approval. He said it looked good and we were off.
It was a good idea in theory, but failed miserably in execution. There were a couple reasons it failed. The first reason (the main one) is that Steve could never keep up with what I was supposed to do each day so he usually just assumed I had done it. If he asked me, I would tell him, but for the most part, I had a don't ask don't tell policy. This caused two reactions in me. I got frustrated because I worried about being in trouble only to have nothing happen and I was tempted to keep doing it since it went unnoticed.
The second reason was that it wasn't flexible enough. Take my recent illness. Admittedly there were some days that I could have done some chores, but there were also days when I didn't have enough energy to get out of bed, much less do chores. Did I do them anyway regardless of how bad I felt, roll them over to the next day or skip them altogether?
So last night we hammered out a new arrangement. Laundry has to be done Monday, Wednesday and Friday. He doesn't care what I wash on those days as long as I do at least one load each of those days and by the end of the week, we all have clean clothes, towels and sheets. If I know a chore that needs to be done and I know he probably won't think of it, I have to suggest it. Otherwise, each day he will give me the chores that he sees need to be done.
A little later, we had another conversation.
So you thought I wanted to quit?
Because you're tired of getting spanked?
Well yeah I don't like getting spanked and sometimes I get frustrated that I'm still getting spanked over the same things, but I can't argue with the fact it has changed things.
So what if I had said I didn't want to do this anymore?
We would have talked about it and I would have tried my damnedest to talk you out of quitting. Because I like the way things are now. I'm not just talking about the house either. We get along a lot better now.
I like that too.
Besides I like how cute your ass looks when it's red.
At that point, I smacked him with a pillow. He retaliated by tickling me. We laughed and played for a bit, then snuggled up and fell asleep holding hands. And all was good in our world.