I spent the morning at the doctor's office. She cracked up at my description of getting bit in the butt. You always hear people saying stuff about something coming back to bite them in the butt, but it's rare when it's literal.
Anyway, after examining my "bite" and listening to my symptoms, the doctor felt that it wasn't actually an insect bite. She thinks I have shingles. Apparently the chickenpox that I nearly died from as a child didn't completely go away as we believed; the virus just went dormant. Thanks to all the stress of the past few months and my immune system not being in peak condition because I had been fighting a respiratory bug, it came back.
There's good news and bad news. The bad news is that I didn't get treatment within the first 72 hours. According to the doctor, early treatment with antivirals can help it heal faster with less pain. She still prescribed me some antiviral medicine to see if it would help, but it's possible that I'll be stuck with this for another couple weeks.
The good news is that in addition to the antiviral, she also gave me a prescription for a decent pain medicine that will probably knock me on my tush. So I'm not going to notice or even care if I have any pain.
And for some possibly good news. Because shingles are contagious and can spread through contact, Steve has to keep his hands off my butt. We'll see how that one works out. Odds are, he's already been exposed because he touches my butt on a daily basis so he may just keep up with the spanking. If he decides not to risk it, I'm going to be spank-free until I'm over this.
Now don't anyone give him any ideas about non-spanking punishments.