Sunday, January 20, 2013

Disgruntled

I'm feeling a bit disgruntled today. I was barely awake before a spanking was threatened. It's not shaping up to be a good day.

Yesterday I was feeling good about things. I had did my chores then set out to surprise my husband. I went in and made the bed. It's not a rule, but I know Steve likes it when I make an effort to make the bed look nice and inviting. My personal philosophy is why make it when you're just going to mess it back up so I normally only make it when I change the bed linens.

Then I tackled a project that he's been wanting me to do for a while-the laundry room. It's a big room, running nearly the entire length of the back of our two car garage. Since it is so big, it not only serves as the laundry room, but also as storage. It was a huge mess.

I had piles waiting to be repaired, piles waiting to be donated, piles waiting to be washed, piles waiting to be folded and put away and piles of our daughter's outgrown clothes that needed to be sorted into bins. That was just the laundry side of the mess. Then there was various boxes, bags and miscellaneous items that had been thrown in there for storage without any real thought to organization.


With it being so cold yesterday and the laundry room and garage not being heated, I could only stay out there working for a little while before I had to come in the house to warm back up. But I kept going back and forth to work on it pretty much all day and, while I didn't finish the entire project yesterday, I did put a serious dent in the mess.

So I was a bit less than pleased when Steve told me last night that I hadn't cleaned our bedroom, which was supposed to be one of my chores. I had honestly forgot about it with everything else I had going on yesterday.When I asked if I was in trouble, he said he was debating about it so I didn't pester him about it. He did end up letting me off the hook, but since he had said he was tired several times in the meantime, I was left feeling like he did it because he was tired rather than because he thought I really deserved it.

I was also left feeling like I had failed him. This has been an ongoing issue with us for a while, even before DD. I would work on something and while he would be happy I did it, he'd feel like I should have prioritized something else ahead of whatever I had did. I don't mean to make him seem like a jerk that can't be pleased because he's not like that at all. Honestly, what he would say would make perfect sense. For example, organizing the linen closet is nice, but it shouldn't come before cleaning the living room because people actually see the living room. But it never failed to leave me feeling like a failure because I hadn't thought of it like that to start with.

Then there was this morning. I've mentioned before that I'm not a morning person. I'm especially not a morning person when it's a morning I have to get up early instead of sleeping in like I usually do. You see Sundays are the one day a week I can usually sleep in past seven. The rest of the week I'm up with our daughter, either getting her ready for school or watching her so Steve can go to work.


For us, Sundays are a day of rest, a day to enjoy time together as a family. Since Steve usually doesn't work Sundays, he gets up with our daughter and they go out to their Daddy-daughter breakfast so I can sleep in. Then we go to church as a family and spend the rest of the day together playing games or watching movies. If someone calls or comes over, we make an effort to get rid of them as soon as possible.

But Steve's boss is in a hurry for him to finish the job he's currently on so he called Friday evening and told him he had to work all weekend. As a result, I had to get up early to get Steve's lunch ready for him and take care of our daughter instead of sleeping in, which left me feeling a bit cranky. So I got threatened with a spanking before I even got out of bed.

Then when he was getting dressed, he pulled a shirt out of the dresser and started complaining about how stained it was. He works in construction and sometimes gets crap on his clothes that no amount of bleach or stain remover will bring out. In the case of this particular shirt, I had already washed it twice with bleach and the stain hadn't budged.

The frustration of not getting my family day, the one day I actually look forward to all week, combined with some residual feelings over the night before, led to me snapping that if he didn't like it, he could do his own damn laundry from now on. You guessed it, very disrespectful, If that wasn't bad enough, I said it in front of our daughter. That alone was two strikes-disrespect in front of her and cussing in front of her.

Since she was right there, he just said "Stop it." and gave me one of those looks. You know the one I mean. Then a few minutes later, I was told that I had chores for the day. I never have chores on Sunday. Ugh!





So instead of my nice peaceful Sunday with my family, I'm stuck doing chores and probably facing the paddle or worse tonight.

22 comments:

  1. Is sooo frustrating when you've worked hard on a big task, only to be told you've forgotten something more important.

    I hope that a magical fairy comes over and helps with your housework :)

    Take a deep breath, your day can only improve right?

    Callie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is frustrating Callie. That's part of the reason when we started DD, I asked him to give me specific tasks. That way I would be sure I was doing the things that were important to him.

      Delete
  2. I hope the day gets better!

    Sara

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Sara. Glad to see you back.

      Delete
  3. It's so hard when your routine gets messed up. And to have worked so hard, and have it looked at like that, I'm so sorry. It takes all of the pride out of it. I hope that the chores are quick, and then you can relax for the day, and that tonight is not too hard on your bottom! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was disheartening Es May. He was pleased that I had tackled the laundry room though. He just wishes I'd did our bedroom first.

      Delete
  4. Don't be discouraged Dana. Yes, your priorities and his got off page and you are not having the day you were looking forward - all disappointing. But take pride in what you accomplished, accomplish today what he has asked, and remember that he is not having the day with his family that he was looking forward to. You both have grown so much, this is just a slight bump in the road and you will move on from here.

    Blessings,
    Cat

    ReplyDelete
  5. So sorry Dana :( I hate when things don't go as planned and there's nothing I can do about it.
    Maybe he'll let you off tonight too?

    Hugs,
    Elle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Elle. He did end up letting me off the hook with just a warning. I guess he figured having to do chores on a day that I normally don't have to was punishment enough.

      Delete
  6. Oh Dana,
    I can so empathize. I am NOT a morning person either. I'm also notorious for getting side tracked by my "projects". These are important but not part of the daily household maintenance.
    So sorry your week-end got off track. Sure hope the new week brings a fresh start.
    Hugs, Catrinka

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh Dana
    I'm sorry about your Sunday. I'm also a very bad morning person and receive a few smacks for disrespect ( still in bed) often. That already puts me in a worse mood.
    I hate it too having done something, only to be told I should have done something else first.
    But as already mentioned he might have been I a bad mood as he was missing a family day.
    Life is just hard sometimes, but him up, today hopefully will be better.
    I hope your spanking last night wasn't that bad, hugs to you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks mustbecrazy. Yeah, morning spanking suck big time. He did tell me last night that I was lucky our daughter was there. Otherwie I would have gotten spanked then.

      Delete
  8. Dana, I'm so sorry you didn't get the Sunday you were hoping for and I can understand your frustration at being told you should have done something else after working so hard. As Cat said, take pride in what you have accomplished.

    I hope you have a better start to the new week.

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
  9. Roz just said what I was going to say. :)

    Great job tackling those big projects. Sorry that you are having a tough time. Big hugs.

    Elisa xo

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sorry you didn't get the Sunday you wanted. Hope today is better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It has been a lot better. Thanks Zoe.

      Delete
  11. Have you talked with him about how it makes you feel when he doesn't appreciate what you've done and instead just focuses on what you didn't do? He may not even realize how it makes you feel. Men can be very matter of fact sometimes and not realize how it can impact us. I'm sorry your Sunday didn't go well. (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I did talk to him Grace. It isn't so much that he's unappreciative as that he would prefer I focus on the things he asks me to do before doing other projects. If I had remembered that he had asked me to the bedroom, I would have done it first before tackling the laundry room.

      I also think part of it was that he didn't realize how much I had done when I told him I had worked on the laundry room. Once he saw it and realized how much work I had put into it, he thanked me for it. He also thanked me for making the bed even though I didn't have to.

      As far as the stained shirt, he apologized for that. Since it was in the drawer with his other work shirts, he assumed I meant for him to wear it like that to work. I had just ran out of space in his other shirt drawer. The only reason I saved the shirt rather than toss it was that it was in good shape other than the stains and I figured he could wear it when he was working on cars.

      Delete

We love to hear what you think, but please be polite.