You may recall that we were both trying to quit smoking. That didn't go well. So Steve decided if we were going to continue smoking, we needed to find a cheaper option to do it. He got supplies and a rolling machine, showed me how to roll my own cigarettes and then told me I was not to buy another pack. It is quite a bit cheaper, but it takes longer so we both end up smoking less as well, which I'm sure was part of the reason he insisted on the change.
Aside from buying a pack the very first week, which he let me off the hook for but warned he wouldn't be so forgiving the next time, I haven't bought another pack. Until yesterday.
I woke up to find we were out of supplies. Since I knew I had to run errands anyway, I decided to just wait and pick them up while I was out. But nothing was going right yesterday and by the time I made my fourth errand stop, I was feeling pretty frazzled. Since I still hadn't got my supplies or made it home to roll a cigarette, I was ready to climb the walls.
So as we stood in line waiting to check out, I was eying the cigarette display. Our daughter must have saw where my attention was focused because she reminded me that daddy said not to buy any. Yet even with her warning, when the cashier finished ringing up our stuff and asked if that was all, I asked for a pack. Then I turned to our daughter.
Don't tell Daddy.
A few minutes later, we were putting things in the car and she asked why not. So I told her he wouldn't be happy that I had did it after he asked me not to. She got quiet then and I could tell her brain was churning.
Then it hit me like a brick what I had just done. In telling her to not tell Steve because he'd be upset with me, I was teaching her not to confess when she did something she wasn't supposed to, to keep quiet about misbehavior to stay out of trouble. I was also teaching her that honesty wasn't something that was needed in a marriage. That's NOT what I want to teach her.
So I had to fix it. Once we were back on the road headed towards home, I explained that I didn't want her to tell him because it was important that when you mess up, you are the one that admits to it. I told her that it's always better to confess yourself rather than hope that it doesn't come out some other way. It's a matter of respect. Then I promised I would tell him myself when he got home from work.
And I kept that promise. Even though I knew the consequences of it, I confessed shortly after he got home. But she beat me to it and he already knew. After hearing about my day and the fact that I hadn't smoked all day at the point I broke down and bought the pack, and taking into consideration the fact that I had confessed, he let me off the hook with only a warning.