Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Road Trip

About ten years ago, I went on a trip to visit friends that lived out of state. I was a little concerned about making the trip myself because it was the first time I'd driven so far from home and I knew I'd be going through several major cities, but I had a week's paid vacation from my job and I was determined that I was going to do something with it. Armed with an atlas, printed directions and my dad on speed dial, I set out early on a Saturday morning to make the 500 mile trip.

Most of the trip went well. I passed through several states, stopping occasionally to fill up on fuel, take in some sights or just stretch my legs. I was down to my last 40 miles when I hit my first problem. You see my printed directions said I should take a certain exit. However it just gave the number of the exit, neglecting to tell me whether it was A or B. Having never driven in a major city before, I didn't know if there was a difference so I just guessed.

It wasn't until I started looking for my next turn that was supposed to come 12 miles down the road that I realized I had taken the wrong one. With a little help from a friendly cashier at a gas station, I managed to find my way back to the interstate I had turned off of. However, the directions put me on the interstate at a different point than I had came off of it so I had to try to figure out how to get back to that point.

As I was driving along, I was watching the road signs carefully and I noticed something. The road would first say I was headed east, then north, then west and then south before starting all over again saying I was headed east. Meanwhile the exit I was looking for was nowhere in site.

I'm not going to say how many times I went around and around before I finally got frustrated enough to call my dad. Let's just say it was a while. It turns out I was on one of the loops (usually referred to as a bypass) that go around major cities and I was going around it in the opposite direction than I originally came in on, which is why I never could find my exit. Once he figured out where I was, he told me how to get on the interstate going the way I needed and I found my exit a couple minutes later.

I feel like that's where Steve and I are right now. We're still traveling on this journey we embarked on ten months ago. There's still changes along the road. And yet we don't seem to be getting anywhere. We keep going around the same loop hoping that we'll find that turn that gets us where we need to be. We keep going this direction even though clearly we need to stop and consult a map.

After ten months, I thought we'd be further than this. I didn't think we'd still be having issues with inconsistency on Steve's part. I didn't think we'd still be struggling with procrastination and rebellion on my part. Somehow I thought we'd be past those issues by now, or at least not dealing with them as often.

For the first time since we started this journey, I came close to throwing in the towel. Close to telling Steve "Well we gave it a go and it just didn't work. Let's keep the closeness and intimacy it brought, but toss the rules, spankings and expectations that we have for each other."

It's something that has been on my mind for a few days now. But I'm not a quitter. I'm too stubborn to give up. So I kept those thoughts to myself.

Steve must have sensed something because he took action. When I came back from taking our daughter to school, he was still in bed so I climbed back under the covers and snuggled up to him to get warm. He got up a little while later, but I was half-asleep at that point so I stayed put. I didn't think anything of it when I heard his dresser drawer open. I just figured he was getting dressed for work.

Then a swat landed over the blanket and a role affirmation unlike any we've had before began. The first few swats were over the blanket. He stopped and we talked for about five minutes. The blanket got pulled back and a few more swats were given before we stopped to talk again. Then a couple more swats and another break to talk.

All together it lasted about half an hour although there was probably only five minutes (if that) of actual spanking. The rest of the time was spent talking.

I guess you could say this morning's role affirmation was us pulling over and checking the map. We needed to figure out where we were and if we were on the right track. Now we're back on the road again, hopefully headed in the right direction this time.

And if you're wondering how my road trip ten years ago ended up, I had no more problems. After spending a couple days with my friends, I headed back home. Flush with success on my first solo road trip and with several days left before I had to return to work, I decided to go visit another friend who lived 800 miles in the opposite direction. It was a great week.


  1. Dana,
    I keep wondering when we will get things right also. There is still pretty much no consistency here :(
    We are definitely seeing the benefits though so we will keep on going. Happy for you that RA went well :)


    1. Tricia, Steve's consistency seems to come and go. I keep telling him that it really messes with my head. Hopefully as we keep going, he'll get better with it.

  2. Hi Dana,

    I love your analogy. I think we all probably go through this loop from time to time and sometimes we do need to just pull over and consult the map. Take stock of where we are and where we want to be.

    I'm glad you are back on the road again.


    1. Thanks Roz. We've been around this loop before, but it was really getting to me this time, probably because it went longer than it usually does. But stopping to talk things over always helps.

  3. I still have to call my dad sometimes when I am lost! Unfortunately I get lost often as I have no sense of direction at all. My Hoh is great at directions too, but he is often at work and in meetings where he cannot be reached. Dad, on the other hand, always has his cell on! lol My Hoh, StrongMan, and I had a fight a week ago and I wondered if we were done again but the next day he took control, got very stern, and put his Hoh hat firmly in place. He let me know it isn't falling off for good ever. I am glad. I like the safety I feel in his authority. Hope all goes well for you. I started my own blog yesterday. Stop by if you can. quiet sara ( http://quietsara.blogspot.com )

    1. Thanks for stopping by Sara. I always call my dad when I travel. He's been a truck driver since before I was born and has been all over the country so he's always good for directions.

  4. What would life be if we didn't have a few bumps in the road to make it interesting hugs


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