Sunday, December 21, 2014

Christmas Naughtiness


 




 






 

  





If I don't talk to you before, Merry Christmas from our family to yours.



Saturday, December 13, 2014

So True

I saw this on one of the Facebook pages I follow and thought it particularly fitting to this audience.


Friday, December 12, 2014

All Done!




As of 11:30 this morning, finals are all done. Don't judge. It's 5 o'clock somewhere.


Monday, December 8, 2014

Ugh! Finals


Crap!


That's what I said.
 
Couldn't agree more.



Sounds like studying for my Spanish final.
 
  

This might be part of the problem.
 
  

So true!


Thank goodness for the teacher that allows you to bring in a flashcard of notes, especially since her final consists of writing four essays, each on a different topic covered during the semester.


Sleep? What's that?


Have the wine handy. With four finals this week, I'm going to need it when I get done.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Calling All Lurkers



If you've been waiting for the right moment to delurk, well this is your lucky day. Today (and tomorrow) we celebrate all you loveable lurkers.


Not sure what to say?

  • Introduce yourself.
  • Share a story.
  • Tell us your favorite animal/color/book/movie/implement/whatever.
  • Ask a question.
  • Tell us a joke.
  • Or a simple hello works too.


Don't be shy. You can even post anonymously so there's no reason not to join in the fun.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Quick Post

I have a bigger post brewing, just trying to work through the kinks, but I wanted to take a minute to share some good news. It turns out that all my worry over my paper falling flat because it kept a big part of my life hidden was for nothing.

I got at 97 on the paper.






I still wish we didn't live in a world where we have to hide who we are though. Because wouldn't it be great to live in a world where people accept who you are without judgement?


Thursday, October 23, 2014

The Kind of Man He Is

All this lately has got me thinking. I wonder if outsiders would so quick to judge our relationship if they truly knew the kind of men Steve and other HoHs are. So I'm going to tell you a little bit about the kind of man Steve is.

When I got a really bad toothache the weekend before our anniversary and had to cancel our plans, he didn't complain. Instead, first thing Monday morning, he started working the phones to find a dentist that could get me in that day. He badgered them into taking me in as soon as we could get there so I didn't have to be in pain any longer. Then he pampered me for the rest of the day.

Because that's the kind of man he is.

A few weeks ago, we had to rehome one of our dogs, one of my favorites. I knew it was going to be hard, but I didn't expect giving her up to hurt so bad. I mostly kept it together while giving her to her new family, but I fell completely apart once we got home. When Steve saw how upset I was, he offered to go get her back for me. Mind you, the family that now has her lives over an hour away and he would somehow have to convince them to give back the dog we had just gave them.

Because that's the kind of man he is.

Last year, I got caught in a snowstorm while visiting my family and ended up spinning out in the snow when I tried to drive home. Rather than risk me getting back in the car on icy roads to try to find a motel for the night, he drove three hours through the snow in the dark to come get me. Then when the snow cleared a couple days later, he went back to get my car for me.

Because that's the kind of man he is.

When I was pregnant with our daughter, we lived about 15 minutes outside of town. I craved two things when I was pregnant-strawberries and a particular menu item at a restaurant in town. It never failed that a craving for that restaurant menu item would strike just before they were due to close and about the time Steve was ready for bed. But he never complained. He just jumped in the car and went to get it for me every single time.

Because that's the kind of man he is.

Last weekend, I babysat my sister's kids so she could go out of town. Between trying to take care of the kids, one of which got sick shortly after being dropped off, and not getting much sleep because of a major assignment for one of my classes, I was a bit frazzled. So Steve offered to go pick up some pizza for dinner AND take all three kids with him while he did it so I could have a few minutes to myself. I don't think he fully understood the challenges of taking three kids anywhere by yourself, but he was willing to do it.

Because that's the kind of man he is.

When we were dating, I once made an offhand comment about how I thought it would be neat to get a bouquet of roses that had one of every color. When our first wedding anniversary rolled around, he let me sleep in that morning while he drove to every florist in the county to get me my roses. This from a man that usually can't remember what he had for supper the night before.

Because that's the kind of man he is.

Our daughter didn't like to sleep so I spent most of her first year in a sleep-deprived haze. One day she actually decided to take a nap so I joined her. A friend of Steve's was working on the mountain that overlooks where our house was. When he saw smoke near our house, he called Steve to let him know. Since I was asleep and didn't hear the phone when Steve called, he dropped everything, jumped in his truck and sped home. The road was closed to traffic when he got close so he left his truck sitting in the middle of the road and ran the rest of the way to make sure we were safe.

Because that's the kind of man he is.

When my grandmother was in her final days, he drove all night to get me there to see her. He did it on no sleep after he'd already put in a full day of work. And a week later, he did it again so I could attend the funeral.

Because that's the kind of man he is.

Every time I'm sick, he makes a trip to the local restaurant to pick up the soup I like when I don't feel good. He's gave up things he wanted (and sometimes needed) when we haven't had the money to spare. He's even borrowed money before when we've been broke just to make sure I got my soup.

Because that's the kind of man he is.

When I think about other (non-DD) couples I know, I can only think of a few husbands that would do some of these things that Steve has done. I can't think of a single one that would do all of these things. But I can just about bet that you girls can tell these same stories and others like them.

Because that's the kind of men our HoHs are.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Followup to My Life or Something Like It

For those that responded to my last post, I wanted to say thank you. Many of you pointed out potential pitfalls that I was concerned about myself. Ultimately, I chose to keep the DD part of my life private, even if it means my paper falls flat without it. Had I read Rick's comment before I submitted my paper, I probably would have taken the middle ground he suggested. Basically, sharing the underlying theme of us having a traditional marriage, but leaving out the nuts and bolts of how it works.

I'm not ashamed of being a submissive woman. I'm actually pretty open about it. While I haven't told everyone in our lives, close friends and family know that Steve and I do have a more traditional marriage where I'm submissive and he leads our family. It's not a big secret.

The funny thing is that in some ways, I was submissive long before I even heard of domestic discipline. I've always checked in with Steve before making decisions that affected us both. Whether it's wanting someone to come visit or spending money that I normally wouldn't, I've always asked him if it was okay.

It's the discipline and rules part that gets sticky. If it was just a matter of getting some raised eyebrows or a rude comment, I could deal with it. But when it involves risk to me or my family, I have to stay quiet. I can't risk my education being jeopardized or my husband being put in jail on bogus charges of abuse.

There are abusive relationships. I've been in one myself in the past. I've had loved ones that were in them. I have a loved one in one right now. And yes, I absolutely without a doubt believe that something should be done about abuse. No one should have to live in fear of another person and that's what abuse boils down to.

But with DD, it comes down to choice. I chose to live this lifestyle. I asked Steve if we could have this style of marriage. If I were to ever choose that I didn't want it any more, he would respect my decision. And I say this with absolute certainty because a while back I did tell Steve I was quitting DD and even though he was about to spank me just before I said it, he stopped right then. While I did end up agreeing to continue DD after we talked, it was a choice I made on my own because it was what I wanted, not because he talked me into it or forced me to agree to it.

It's really sad that we are forced to keep this part of our lives hidden. If people weren't so quick to jump to conclusions and would take the time to really explore what DD is, we wouldn't have to hide. Yes, my husband spanks me and it does hurt. But when it's over, it's done and we move on. I'd much rather deal with the temporary pain of a spanking than the lingering pain of harsh, angry words or withdrawal.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

My Life or Something Like It

I'm in the process of writing a paper right now for my cultural anthropology class. It's supposed to be a typical day in my life with an explanation of how my life connects to others on a holistic level. I'm struggling with it.

I'd been working on it for over a week (she assigned it a couple weeks ago) before it hit me what the problem was. There's a huge gaping hole in my paper. I don't think I truly realized how much DD permeated until I tried to write about my day and found myself having to edit that part out.

I can say that I do my chores, but not that my husband assigns them. I can talk about having time as a couple, but not that some of that time is spent OTK. I can talk about interacting with online friends, but not that the point of connection for some of those friends is the DD lifestyle. I can say I do the dishes every night before bed, but not that it's a rule and I'll get spanked if I don't.

Without including all that, my paper falls flat. It's boring. It's not a true representation of who I am and what my typical day is. It's just a watered down version. Or at least it seems that way to me.

I have to admit there's a temptation to include that part of my life in my paper. After all, this is a cultural anthropology class where we are learning to study and understand other cultures. At its roots, the DD lifestyle is a culture.

But do I really want to open up that part of my life?  It's one thing to talk about that aspect of my life here where I have the cushion of anonymity. It's a whole different thing to talk about in a paper that has my name on it.

I just don't know. And I'm running out of time to decide.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

The Workout

Since we all like to keep in shape, I thought I'd share a new workout that I recently learned. I already had everything needed for it, but you might have to pick up a few things to do it. It will work every muscle you have. The great thing about this workout is that it's spontaneous. You don't plan for it. It just happens.

Are you ready?

Ok now you take one big, muscular dog with a knack for slipping his collar.


Wait for him to perform his trick, which will no doubt occur when the little dogs are out in the yard. You can usually tell this exercise has begun by the high pitched barks.



Spend five minutes chasing down all the little dogs so they're out of the way while you deal with the big one. This part is critical because it gets your heart rate up. They will help by waiting until you're close enough to grab them before darting away.


Once all the little ones are stowed away, head back out to corral the big dog. By this time, he's found a good hiding spot so you'll spend some time searching. If you want to work out your brain, try to figure out how a 125 dog can hide in an open yard so well.

Find big dog when he appears out of nowhere and tries to jump in your arms because for some reason, he thinks he's still the size of a puppy. Your core really gets a workout as you attempt to stay on your feet and avoid falling in the mud.

Struggle to get new collar on him while he licks you and rubs his head against you.

Attempt to lead him over to the chain to attach the collar.

Chase him around the yard when he figures out what you're up to and breaks free.

Try to open stubborn hook on chain with one hand while firmly gripping the dog's collar with the other to keep him from starting a new round of hide and seek.

Fail miserably at holding onto him one-handed. Let him go while you keep working on hook that apparently requires superhuman strength to work.

Give up on the hook and decide to just slip old collar that's still attached to the chain back over his head. After all, it came off by slipping over his head so it shouldn't be that difficult to get it back on the same way.

Participate in another round of hide and seek that ends when he once again appears out of nowhere to leap into your arms.

Stagger back to chain while giving dog a full body hug to keep him from escaping again.

Attempt to slip old collar back over his head while he alternately licks you and tries to escape. Congratulate yourself when you finally succeed ten minutes later.

Do a few quick jumps when he decides to try a new game. This one consists of him winding the chain around your ankle before taking off for the opposite side of the yard at a rapid pace.

Wait for the perfect moment to run back in the house.

If you're not too exhausted to think, wonder why this only happens when your husband is at work.

Congratulations! You've completed the workout.




Saturday, September 27, 2014

He Owes Me

I got a text from Steve a little while ago. It was short, just three words, but those three little words say a lot, especially in light of recent changes we have made in how we practice DD.


I owe you.


I wish I could say that was a good thing. I wish I could say it meant he's giving me a hall pass or something special for being good. But that's not what it means.


When Steve says he owes me, it's not a good thing. It means I've landed myself in hot water. It means we don't have the privacy or the time to deal with that right now. It means that the first available opportunity we get, I'll be face-down across his lap with his hand or an implement raining down fire on my backside.


As luck would have it, he's working all weekend. When he works, he's in bed before our daughter is, which means we won't have the time or privacy unless he gives up sleep. So I'm stuck waiting until Monday when he's off work and she's at school.


He owes me.


Yikes!



Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Thinking on Communication

I found myself in a unique position over the weekend. A friend of mine had called upset about an argument with her husband. I spent an hour on the phone trying to get her to calm down and hold off on making any drastic moves. About an hour after I hung up with her, I answered the door to find her husband on my doorstep looking for Steve. Steve was gone working on one of the cars so he talked to me instead.

Normally when a couple fights, you only get one side of the story, the side of whoever is venting to you. Since they were both venting to me, I ended up getting both sides of the story. Steve says it was good practice for my eventual career as a marriage therapist once I finish school.

While it was a bit of an awkward experience, it was also enlightening. I saw that one of the main complaints from both of them was the exact same thing. They were upset that their partner was doing something, but oblivious to the fact that they were doing the exact same thing. I also saw that they had two widely different takes on the same issue.

In the end, the advice I gave each of them was the same. Talk to him/her. Let him/her know how you feel without accusing him/her of making you feel that way. I sent him on his way with a bouquet of roses from my flowerbed to soften her up so she would talk to him (she was pretty pissed).

Later that evening. Steve and I were talking about their situation. We both agreed that their habit of making up without actually dealing with the underlying problem is a big part of their problem. We both agreed that their main issue is their communication or, more accurately, their lack of communication.

It's funny how it's so easy to see it in others, but we struggle to see it in ourselves. This mess we had last week could have been avoided if we had just talked to each other. Instead we both kept quiet. I kept quiet because I didn't want to appear needy or feel like I was burdening him when he had so much on his plate already. He kept quiet because he was scared of what my answer might be if he asked me what was wrong.

We're in our third year of DD. You would think that we'd have the communication aspect down pat by now. And yet we don't. When things start getting bumpy, we both fall back into our old patterns of dealing with it. Instead of talking, we both pull back. He acts like everything is okay and I bottle stuff up.

That's not to say that our communication hasn't improved over the last couple years. It has. We talk more than than we ever did before. But I can't help but wonder how long it's going to take before communicating is the first thing we try, rather than the thing we fall back on after our initial coping mechanisms have failed.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

How to Repair a Pothole

I don't know why it is, but it usually takes us a few tries before we're able to reconcile when we have a problem. It never fails. We'll sit down to talk, one or both of us get riled up, we separate for a little bit to cool off, and then try again. Sometimes it takes us several tries before we're successful. This time was no different.

The afternoon after I poured my heart out here, Steve texted, finally responding to the text I'd sent him the day before. He didn't say much, just that he didn't really think I cheated on him, that he knew something was bothering me, and that we needed to talk. I sent back a text agreeing with him. Since I figured we'd be sitting down to talk it out as soon as our daughter went to bed, I finally relaxed a bit.

But we didn't talk. Instead, as soon as our daughter headed for bed leaving us alone, he announced he was tired and was going to bed. No mention was made of talking. Now I know he was tired. After all, he'd just put in a 12 hour day. But being put off when I'm already upset is like pouring gas on a fire. A really bad idea.

Yesterday morning, I was a bit standoffish, but I relented when he asked me to tell him what was wrong. I told him how hurt I was by his accusation. He didn't apologize. He just kept saying that he didn't really think I was cheating and that I shouldn't be getting upset over it because it wasn't that big of a deal.

The more he tried to convince me how unimportant his comment was, the madder I got  I was so mad I ended up getting in the car and leaving for a while. I had errands I needed to run anyway and I figured a little time away would clear my head.

I came back a little calmer and ready to try again. I have to admit I was a bit ticked to find him asleep. Rather than let it get me wound up again, I let it go. I went to another room and started working on the schoolwork I've been putting off for most of the week because I couldn't focus.

Even though he didn't sleep long, I actually managed to get quite a bit done before he woke up again. When he did, he came to find me and asked me to please come sit down with him so we could talk it out. As soon as we sat down, he said the words I need to hear. He apologized. It turns out his comment about me having someone else was more him voicing a fear than a belief that I was actually doing it. He just knew that I was quiet and pulling away and he was scared of losing me.

So I told him exactly why his comment hurt, the fact that it showed a lack of trust and the worries it brought on based on the last time I was accused of cheating. Then I told him a little about what the things that had been bothering me and had me so quiet. I couldn't really get into it in depth because I had to leave to meet a woman.

A woman in our town started a group on Facebook last year where she auctions off stuff. She started off auctioning her own stuff, but now runs on donations. Instead of paying for your winnings in money, you pay in food items (canned goods and other non-perishables). The food collected is distributed to local families in need.

This week's auction included a lot with 4 bras in my size. I normally have to go to one of the bigger department stores at the mall in a nearby city to buy my bras since none of the stores here carry my size. I paid $70 for my last one. So when I saw the auction, I bid and ended up winning the lot.  It cost me 5 boxes of cereal. Since our local discount grocery had Cheerios for $1 a box, it ended up costing me only $5 for 4 bras. And they're nice pretty ones ones too, not the cheap plain serviceable ones. Yay!

Anyway, I told him I had to go pick up my winnings and he went went with me. Then since we were there anyway, we ran in the grocery store to pick up a few things. That is itself is huge because Steve hates shopping and avoids going at all costs. For him to willingly go and not make one complaint the entire time surprised me.

After we got back, we ate lunch and then picked up our discussion. Since I hadn't really opened up about everything that was bothering me, he kept prodding at me until finally I spilled. Once I got going, it was hard to stop me. He mainly just listened and threw in an occasional comment or question. A lot of it came down to me bottling a bunch of stuff up rather than talking about it because he had left me feeling like I couldn't talk. I'll not bore you with a list of stuff I was bottling, but I did talk to him about them.

About the time the conversation started winding down, he shifted and I found myself pinned face down on the bed. After a few swats over my pants, he pulled them down and started spanking in earnest. It wasn't too bad at first because he was using his hand, but as the spanking progressed, I found myself amazed once more in how solid his hand can be when he wants it to be. The whole time he was lecturing about how important it is for me to let him know how I'm feeling and not bottle stuff up inside. And how he always wants me to feel comfortable talking to him about how I'm feeling. I guess he wanted to make sure I was clear on that.

To someone outside DD, I'm sure it seems strange that our argument would end with a spanking, but for us, it was the right thing. It helped me let go of the hurt and anger completely and reconnected us. After the spanking, we reconnected in other more fun ways.

One good thing did come from all of this. For the past couple weeks, I haven't been sleeping well. That's the problem with bottling stuff. Even though you're pushing it down inside, it still keeps you up at night. But now that I finally let it all go and talked to him, I can sleep again. We had planned to snuggle up and watch a movie last night, but first Steve had to tuck our daughter in. The last thing I remember was him saying he'd be right back. I was out like a light before he made it back. I woke up at 8 this morning curled in his arms.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Potholes

We seem to have hit a rough patch of road along our journey.


To me, that says we need to pull over, check the map and see if maybe there's an alternate route we can take. One that's a little smoother and not as likely to cause damage. At the very least, we should be slowing down so we can carefully navigate the obstacles.

Steve seems blind to the dangers of this road. He's just forging ahead like everything is okay.


But it's not. Normally, I would speak up and say something, but some things he's said lately have me feeling like I can't. So I've kept my mouth shut, held on tight and prayed that we don't hit disaster.

Unfortunately, we already have.



I've been quiet lately, which is always a clear sign that something is bothering me. I also haven't been sleeping well, another sign that something is on my mind. Instead of asking me what's wrong or making me feel comfortable to open up and talk to him about what's bothering me, Steve decided to put his own spin on things.

Yesterday morning, he accused me of cheating on him.


I was stunned. Once I regained my ability to speak, I assured him that I was certainly not cheating. I've been cheated on in relationships in the past and the last thing I would ever do is cause someone the pain that I felt.

I kept waiting on him to say he believed me or apologize, but he didn't. He just left for work without another word. He didn't even say goodbye. Since our daughter was up and I didn't want her to see me upset, I locked myself in the bathroom for a few minutes until the tears stopped, then held a cold rag on my eyes to minimize how red and swollen they were.

We didn't speak all day. He didn't text or call on his breaks like he usually does. He didn't even respond to the text I sent him. When he got home, he was acting like everything was just fine. But it's not.

Being falsely accused of cheating bothers me on so many levels. For one, it tells me he doesn't trust me. If we don't have trust, we may as well just call it quits because a relationship isn't going to survive without trust. Secondly, and I'm struggling not to put too much importance on this one, the last time a guy was accusing me of cheating on him, it was because he had a guilty conscience about doing it to me.

Last night when we went to bed, I curled up on my side of the bed as far away as I could get without leaving the bed. My little protector must have picked up on how I was feeling because he curled up against my back facing towards Steve so he could keep an eye on him. When Steve reached to touch my shoulder, he growled at him. I shook off his touch. He didn't try again.

This morning he was back to acting like everything was fine. He even commented that he's getting low on socks. Where yesterday I continued doing everything like I normally do, I'm not feeling so inclined to do so today.

It's one thing to make a mistake. Lord knows I've made my share of them along the way. But to ignore it and go on like nothing happened without even apologizing or acknowledging the hurt he's caused ticks me off.

Please send some prayers our way. We're stuck in this pothole and until something changes, we're not going anywhere.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

I See the Light

As you guys know, I've spent a good chunk of the last couple months frustrated over lack of time together. Steve has been fairly patient with me through, regularly reassuring me that his schedule would eventually calm down. But it was really hard for me to see the light at the end of the tunnel because it seemed like every time that was on the horizon, something happened to keep it just out of reach.


Today when he came in from work, he asked me to join him in the bedroom, saying he needed to talk to me about a few things. It threw me for a loop because I had no idea what was going on. But I headed into the bedroom to see what was up.

Once we were sat down, he handed me a piece of paper. I looked at it. It took me a minute to realize it was some kind of schedule. He gave me another minute and then told me to look for the yellow squares on the C row. I looked and noticed that each week only had three or four yellow squares. But I still didn't know what all that meant.

So he explained it. C schedule means he works from 7 am to 7 pm. The yellow squares are the days he's scheduled to work. He'll work two to three days and then have two to three days off. Basically it works out so he works three days one week and four days the next, alternating through the year. He ends up getting a three day weekend on alternate weeks.

Since they don't want him starting the new schedule until Sunday (apparently their payroll week starts on Sunday), they gave him the next two days off. That means while our daughter is at school tomorrow, I'll have him all to myself. Then we'll have a family day on Saturday.

As luck would have it, the way they have him starting the schedule means he'll be off the next two days after that. Our daughter is out for the holiday on Monday so we'll have another family day. Then she goes back to school on Tuesday and I get him all to myself again.

If you need me before Wednesday, just look for the crazy person doing the happy dance.


Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Update and Meredith's Questions

I've been a terrible blogger lately. School is back in session for all three of us so it's been a bit hectic around here, especially since Steve is still working long hours which means I'm having to pick up a lot of the slack.

I'm registered for five classes this semester. Thankfully two of those are short-semester classes that don't start yet so I'm only having to focus on three right now. Steve is registered for four classes, but like me, two of them aren't starting yet. Considering how labor-intensive the two that have started are, that's probably a good thing. Between keeping up with my schoolwork, helping Steve with his and doing all the beginning of the school year stuff for our daughter, I've barely had time to breathe.

Between Steve's crazy work schedule and all of us in school, DD has been moved firmly to the backseat. Actually, it's more like the trunk. You think it's there, but until you actually go poking around looking for it, you can't really see it to be sure.

I'm more than a bit frustrated right now. The whole point of doing boot camp was to reconnect and get back on track. We did reconnect on an amazing level, but I feel like we're so far from on track right now that the track isn't anywhere in sight.

Frustration combined with hormones led to some poking the bear one day last week. About the time I pushed too far, I realized that it wasn't going to do anything productive. Yes, it would get me spanked, but it was going to leave us both frustrated. Him because I'm bratting and me because it's not really the spanking I crave, but the feeling of his dominance and knowing he's got us.

So we ended up talking instead. I'd like to say it fixed things, but the fact is it just gave me a safe avenue to vent my frustration. Until he's put on a regular schedule (and left on it), we're just not going to have the time. So we're stuck with just getting by with whatever stolen moments we can manage. The work schedule is supposed to let up in another week so I guess we'll see.

In other news, Steve went through orientation this past week and is now officially an employee. He brought home a ton of orientation material, including a book that explains the benefits package. It's even better than I had hoped. Seriously, it's awesome.

I'm really excited about the medical coverage. I was already looking forward to being able to go to the doctor again, but as I was reading through the coverage details, I realized that it covers infertility treatment, at least up to a certain point. If you've been following our journey for a while, you're aware that we've been trying unsuccessfully to conceive another child for several years now. With this insurance, I'll finally be able to go see a fertility doctor.

And now for Meredith's questions. If you missed them, be sure to head over to her blog to do them.

Do your eyes light up when he comes to you?

Yes

What sports do you watch together?

Neither of us are really into sports. Every once in a while we'll watch some racing, but that's about it.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is lingerie when it usually ends up in the floor?

10. It may not stay on very long, but it has a very positive effect for the brief time it is on.

Do you watch Netflix' House of Cards?

No, I rarely watch any TV.

What outdoor activity do you do together?

Hiking to waterfalls, although we haven't had much chance to go lately.

What is his dream vacation?

Getting away from it all in a cabin up in the mountains.

What is your dream vacation?

It would be hard to pick just one. Having him to myself in that cabin in the mountains would be amazing though.

What is your favorite book?

There's no way I could pick just one. I love books.

What was your last argument about?

It's been so long since we've had a real argument that I don't even remember any more.

Are there any words that you use that he does not like?

The word no in certain circumstances.

Do you have any restrictions about internet time?

No, but I pay all our bills and do my classes online so it would be hard for him to restrict my time.

Do you have a phobia?

I'm terrified of snakes and somewhat claustrophobic.

When do you melt into his arms?

After a spanking, when he does or says something sweet, after making love, when I've had a bad day and he just wraps his arms around me and holds me...I could go on like this for days.

Are you watching Outlander?

No.

Does your HoH have a motto?

Yes. I've heard "Almost doesn't count." more than once from him.

What question would you ask me (Meredith)?

Would you ever recommend DD/TTWD to another couple?

Monday, August 18, 2014

60 Questions

Saw this over at Heart and Soul.

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? Been having sex with him for almost 10 years now. Why stop now?
2. Opinions on sex before marriage? Definitely, compatibility is important.
3. Is trust a big issue for you? Absolutely
5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? Yes
6. What happened last night? Got a new (to me) couch and decided to reupholster it.
7. Ever have plastic surgery? No, but I'd like to get a little minor work done once I'm finished having kids.
8. Which are better - black or green olives? Yuck!
9. What is the last beverage you had? Cherry Pepsi
10. Ever won a contest? Yes, but not lately.

11. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? No.
12. What are you gonna do Saturday night? No idea.
13. What are you going to spend money on next? Groceries.
14. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? Sure, we're always changing.
15. Can you swim well? Not really. I can stay above water, but I tire easily.
16. Have you had sex today? Not so far, but the day isn't over yet.
17. Regularly burn incense? No.
18. Are you in a good mood? Yes.
19. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? Hell no.
20. What do you want right this second? Well now that I was asked about sex...

21. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? The roots are, at least until I get a chance to fix them.
22. Hot tea or cold tea? Either, although I only drink hot tea in the winter or when I'm sick.
23. Tea or coffee? Tea, can't stand coffee.
24. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? My grandparents. They both passed a couple years ago and I still catch myself trying to call them.
25. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Yes and no. On little things, I'm willing to give a second chance. On big things, I'm not.
26. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? Since we've been together nearly 10 years now, I would hope so.
27. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?  No.
28. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? At work.
29. Who did you last call? The college.
30. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?  Because he's pretty hot.

31. Who would you like to see in concert? Reba McEntire and Kenny Chesney
32. What was the last concert you saw? Travis Tritt
33. Do you tan in the nude? Only on the rare occasion I go to a tanning bed.
34. Are you patient? Depends on the situation.
35. Who was the last person to call you? My daughter.
36. Do you sing in the shower? Not usually.
37. Ever used a bow and arrow? This one time at Girl Scout camp.
38. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Not the ones I've saw.
39. Is Christmas stressful? Yes.
40. Ever eat a pierogi? Yes.

41. Favorite type of fruit pie? Cherry, although an apple pie with the right balance of sugar and cinnamon is a close second.
42. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Race car driver, doctor, judge.
43. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes.
44. Ever been in love? Every day.
45. Take a vitamin daily? When I remember.
46. Wear slippers? Only when it's very cold. I prefer to go barefoot.
47. Wear a bath robe? Occasionally.
48. What do you wear to bed? Depends on the day.
49. First concert? A Christian rock band.
50. Walmart, Target or Kmart? I love Target, but the nearest one is nearly an hour away. Walmart is literally right around the corner.

51. Nike or Adidas? Nike.
52. Cheetos or Fritos? Either.
53. Peanuts or sunflower seeds? Sunflower seeds, although I love boiled peanuts.
54. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes.
55. What is your favorite book? Don't think I could pick just one.
56. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Steve. My sister is a close second, but I can't talk to her about DD.
57. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Friday, for my college student ID.
58. Ever have a deja-vu feeling? Yes.
59. Listening to? Puppies.
60. Favorite cookie? White chocolate macadamia nut.

Friday, August 15, 2014

This and That

Boot camp was a very positive experience for us. We had some productive talks. We both worked on issues that needed some work. And we got a much-needed reconnection after drifting somewhat due to Steve working so many hours these past few months.

But I'm surprised to feel somewhat of a letdown now that it's over. Last Friday morning was the end of boot camp for us. That afternoon our daughter arrived back home, along with my sister and her kids.

My sister has been unhappy in her marriage for a while. Several months ago, she had talked about leaving and we had offered to let her and the kids move in with us. After some debate, she decided to stick it out a little longer. Last week, she called asking if our offer was still on the table.She had had enough. So when she arrived on Friday, her intention was to stay.

Needless to say, that put a serious snag in DD for us. Our daughter is still young enough we can work around her, taking care of things after she's down for the night. Working around another adult is a whole different story. So even though I was starting to get wound up from all the stress, there wasn't much we could do about it.

After talking to her husband (and I suspect getting a huge guilt trip over her decision to leave), my sister decided to give him one more chance. She went home and I thought that we could get back to an even keel.

But we didn't. After only a week of Steve's schedule being back to something reasonable, they went back to the crazy hours. So finding time is now an issue again.

On a good note, Steve's supervisor took him to Human Resources this week to start the paperwork to make him a permanent employee. He got the job through a temp agency and he was really sweating it because he had heard that most of the temps are either let go after 90 days or left in temp status instead of being hired on as regular employees.


But they hired him! He has to meet with Human Resources again next week to go through orientation and fill out all the paperwork. He'll be getting a bump in pay and full benefits. The health insurance doesn't kick in until he's been an employee for a month, but it couldn't have come at a better time because I'm nearly out of my migraine medicine and at $10 a pill, we can't afford it otherwise.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Spanking Aisle 10

Yesterday morning, I went grocery shopping. Early in the morning is my favorite time to go. The store is usually quiet without a lot of customers. The stockers are out so it's easy to find someone if you need help. Plus markdowns on discontinued items or items approaching their expiration date are always done in the morning so I can get the first shot at some major bargains.


I wanted a particular item from the freezer case so I headed down that aisle, passing a small group of guys stocking at the start of the aisle. As I was looking for my food, I couldn't help but overhear their conversation. At first, it was typical guy stuff. They were talking about some game. I wasn't really paying attention to them because I was having trouble finding what I was looking for.

But when my first lap through the aisle didn't produce results, I went through it again a little slower. As a result, I was there to hear when their conversation took a very interesting turn. Apparently these guys had got together recently for a cookout. While the cookout was going on, the wife of one of the guys had said or done something (I missed that part) and he had taken her inside for a short period of time.

One of the other guys asked the first guy what he had said to his wife when they went inside because her eyes were really red (presumably from crying) when they came back out. I nearly choked when the first guy responded that he had told her he wasn't putting up with that attitude and added the comment that his wife's eyes weren't the only thing that was red when she came back outside.

I tried telling myself that I was reading way too much into what I had overheard. You know how everything seems to take on new meaning with DD. But then the conversation continued and it became obvious that my initial impression was the correct one.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Almost there

It's amazing how fast this week has gone by. It seems like just yesterday I was nervously awaiting the start of boot camp. Tomorrow, our daughter will return home and company will arrive. So after the morning spanking (and possibly the after-work one depending on when everyone gets here), that's it for boot camp.


I've decided that I need to quit answering the phone when I have chores to do. Tuesday, I only got part of my chores done because my friend called and then showed up. While Steve did address it, he gave me a little leeway on it since it was an unexpected situation.

Yesterday, my sister called upset. I spent a good chunk of the day talking to her and ending of having to rush to get one of the two chores I had finished before Steve got home. There just wasn't enough time for the other one. Since he's already gave me some leeway the day before, I wasn't really expecting to get that lucky again.

When it came time for the after-work spanking, he spanked with his hand for a while. While it got a bit stingy at some points, it was mainly tolerable. Then he stopped. After a few minutes, I asked if he was done because I wanted to go take my shower. Scrubbing floors (the one chore I did get done) is dirty, sweaty work and I was feeling pretty grungy.

I was expecting him to say yes so I was halfway to the bathroom door when he told me he wasn't done and to get the paddle. While I was digging for it in the drawer, he told me to bring the rubber paddle too. My feelings on the rubber paddle are similar to my feelings on the wood one. I hate it. It's thuddy and stingy. It also builds heat so I'm left with a warm bottom long after other implements tend to wear off.

The spanking was definitely on par with a punishment one. The chore that I hadn't gone done was one that had carried over from the day before and he was not happy that it still wasn't done. The fact that it's also something we have a rule about didn't help either. It didn't take long before I was promising to take care of that chore first thing in the morning before I did anything else.

Afterwards, we snuggled for a bit and then I went off to take a shower. While the water wasn't exactly kind to my sore bottom, I was grateful that I hadn't showered before the spanking like I almost did. There's something about getting spanked fresh out of the shower that always seems to make it hurt more, even if you're careful to dry off completely.

Then Steve took me out to dinner, making sure to open and shut all doors for me. It's a little thing, but I actually feel cherished when he takes the time to open a door for me. The fact that he's made an effort to do this simple little gesture for me all this week means a lot to me.

Later when it was time for the bedtime spanking, he first told me to strip down. Then he told me I could keep my pants. I have to admit I was surprised. He almost always spanks on bare bottom, but this wasn't the first time this week he had chose to spank over clothing. So I asked why.

Apparently he was concerned about how my bottom would take getting so many spankings in one week so he figured that if he let me keep my pants on for part of them, it would help me tolerate it better. While I knew that most of the spankings I've got this week were on the milder side, I hadn't realized why.

Once Steve said that, I realized that not once has he pushed me outside my comfort level. In fact, he's been very careful to stay well away from getting anywhere near the edge of my comfort level. So despite the fact that he was holding the rubber paddle in his hand (I guess now that he's remembered we have it, he wants to use it more) and I had the option to have a little protection, I stripped down.

It wasn't exactly mild, but I don't think mild is really possible with the rubber paddle. But it also wasn't punishment level so it was mostly tolerable, although I got a bit squirmy towards the end when he started focusing the swats on my sit spots. Those spots are tender with any implement.

Afterwards, we talked about a little bit of everything, including how we feel about the boot camp itself. I admitted to him that I had been a little nervous going into it. One, from reading others' experiences, it seems that not everyone agreed on whether it was beneficial or harmful.

Two, the intensity was a concern. That's a lot of spankings in one week and I wasn't sure whether it would be too intense for us. I think the fact that we designed our own instead of following a set schedule is what really helped us with that. While I have received a lot of spankings this week (more this week than I had in the last couple months in fact), he's been very careful not to push me too hard.

We both agree that so far, it has been a wonderful, beneficial experience for us. We've grown much closer, more connected as a result. Steve's got better with warmups and I've got better with holding position (something I've struggled with since the start of DD). We've done a lot of talking. It really has been great.

This morning's spanking wasn't as mild as most of the mornings have been. He went over the chores while spanking and I think he wanted it to serve as a warning of my bottom's fate this evening if I don't get that one chore done again.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Best Laid Plans

The thing about trying to work in boot camp around our real life is that life sometimes gets in the way. After our small bump yesterday, I figured we would be good for the week. Life thought otherwise.

To make a very long story short, my friend is between houses right now. She got kicked out of her last place in retaliation for filing a complaint against the landlord. She found another place, but it wasn't going to be ready until a few days after she had to be out of the old place. She ended up putting her stuff in storage and our church stepped forward to put her family in a motel for a couple days until the new place was ready.

Yesterday, she showed up on my doorstep in tears. Apparently the previous tenants had did major damage to the new place and it wasn't ready on time. They have family in the area so she had called them, only to get a bunch of excuses why her family staying with them wouldn't work. She was freaking out because she had nowhere for her kids to sleep.

When Steve came in, she was still here. I went out to talk to him and explain the situation. He was in agreement that he really didn't want them staying with us. Aside from the fact we don't really have the room, especially since I have company coming later this week, them staying with us would mean giving up our week of alone time (not to mention boot camp).

Her husband got off work a little later and we all sat down for a discussion. Ultimately, since the repairs on the new house were supposed to be done within the week, we ended up helping them get into one of the weekly efficiency apartments in town.

By the time we got them settled, it was dark. Needless to say, the after work spanking didn't happen. The bedtime spanking did happen, although it was really mild. We did more talking than spanking. Our discussion was about what had happened the night before. It was a good talk and we both apologized for our part in it.

This morning's spanking got skipped as well. Steve got up late and didn't have time to do it without being late for work. Since he's still in his probationary period with the new job, he couldn't be late. He did take a minute to tell me why it was being skipped so I was okay with it. I'm surprised to find that I did miss it though. Even though it does involve a spanking, I really like that we've been taking the time to connect in the mornings. I'm actually debating about asking him to continue it after boot camp is over. Maybe not every morning, but a couple mornings a week.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Have I Mentioned...

...how much I hate the corner?

Shortly after posting yesterday, I texted Steve with my confession about not getting up on time. I wasn't all surprised when he texted back that I was in trouble.

The question was how much trouble I was in. While I've had a bedtime for a while (a rarely enforced one), he's never put a rule in place about when I had to be up. And since I don't know whether it's a rule that will continue or simply something put in place for boot camp, I wasn't quite sure how he'd react.

A minute later, another text came in. Corner time for 15 minutes.


Now corner time is a bit of a new thing for us. Up until a month or so ago, I had never been sent to the corner. But now that he's tried it out, he's decided he likes it. The more I go, the more I find that I don't like it. It's boring staring at a wall for 15 minutes.

So off I went to do my 15 minutes of penance. When it was over, I texted him back that it was done and asked if I have ever told him how much I hate corner time. He texted back yes and even added a smiley face. Grrr!

When he came in, we talked some more. Then it was on to the second spanking of the day. He chose the turner and the wood paddle for it. I tried to tell him it wasn't fair to use two wood implements for a spanking, but he just reminded me that it wasn't my decision. It's not easy to argue with logic like that.

That spanking was more intense than the previous ones, more along the lines of a punishment spanking, although technically it did include punishment over not getting up on time. It also ended up going longer because every time I squirmed away, he added more swats, making sure those penalty swats were harder. I don't even want to think about how many swats got added. Apparently I'm a slow learner when it comes to that.

The bedtime spanking and evening discussion ended up getting skipped because he had a headache. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, since I was still pretty tender from the previous spanking, I was relieved. On the other hand, I was a little annoyed. The whole reason we're doing this boot camp is to get back on track and get back to being consistent. Skipping part of it defeats the purpose.

This morning when he woke me up for the before work spanking, the annoyed part had gained the upper hand. So I was a bit cranky and not feeling at all cooperative, which isn't good when your HoH already has your gown flipped up and more than one implement on hand.


Thankfully, sanity returned before I earned myself too many penalty swats. Once my bottom was tingling, he went off to take a shower and I lay there thinking. When he came back from showering, I was surprised when he started swatting some more. He wanted to talk about my chores for the day and I guess he wanted to be sure he had my attention. He definitely had it. It's never a good idea to ignore a HoH with a paddle in his hands.

There's something about these morning spankings that really gets to me. I don't know if it's because me being woke up for the spanking means my defenses are down and I haven't had a a chance to get all independent. Or if it's because of the feeling of vulnerability that occurs when I realize he's fully dressed and I'm bare or close to it.

He left for work after that. I just couldn't go back to sleep so I got up for the day. I did some more thinking and decided that I needed to let him in on what's going on in my head. Normally I text if he's at work, but I had a lot to say and didn't feel like sending multiple texts so I emailed instead since I know he has access to email on his phone.

Apparently he hadn't saw the email yet because he didn't mention it when he texted to ask if I was up yet. I told him about getting up after he left because I couldn't sleep and about sending him an email about it. He just said ok. Now I guess I'll have to wait for his response.