To be honest, I have not read 50 Shades of Grey or saw the movie. However, I've heard enough about both to have a general idea of what it's all about. I am not an expert on BDSM and I didn't stay at a Holiday Inn last night, but since DD is a form of power exchange relationship, I feel qualified to offer at least a little advice. So if you've read the book or watched the movie and want to bring a little 50 Shades of kink into your relationship, here's some tips.
Take it Slow
Don't put down the book or walk out of the theater and expect to go right into it. Take some time and talk things out. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page about what you expect to happen.
Do Your Research
You can do serious injury to a partner if you don't know what you're doing. Even something as simple as tying up your partner requires some knowledge so you don't cut off circulation. Spend some time learning about what you want to do. Read books and websites. Ask questions from more experienced BDSM practitioners on blogs and forums. If spanking is part of what you're wanting to do, learn which areas are safe to strike and which should be avoided. No one wants a night of fun to end in the emergency room.
Consent is the cornerstone of any power exchange. The minute you strike someone without their consent, it's assault. Even if a partner has given consent in the past, it's still a good idea to check in with them occasionally to make sure they're still on board. As evidenced by the article I shared yesterday, being arrested and jailed is a very real possibility if you don't take the time to make sure your partner consents.
Use a Safe Word
In the middle of play, it may be hard to tell if someone really means "no" or "stop" or if they're just saying it for effect. A safe word eliminates the ambiguity. When it is used, it means to stop immediately. Pick a word that's unlikely to be said by accident. If your partner uses it, stop right away. Don't wait a minute. Don't finish up whatever you're doing. Just stop.
Know Your Partner
In the heat of the moment, a safe word may be forgotten or the submissive partner may not be in a headspace to even think about a safe word. Know your partner's limits. Pay attention to signs that things may be getting too intense. If you're in doubt, take a break to check in with your partner and make sure they want to keep going.
Recognize that Fantasy and Reality May Not Be the Same
It may be a turn on to fantasize about being tied up and spanked, but it can be very different in reality. On the submissive side, you may find that you don't like the pain or the emotions the experience brings. On the dominant side, you may find that it bothers you to cause your partner pain. There is nothing wrong with those feelings. It's not for everyone. Just chalk it up to experience and keep it in the realm of fantasy.