You guys are really amazing. The outpouring of love and support has been wonderful.
Steve and I did sit down and talk about what he said. I was honest with him and let him know that while I knew on a certain level that he wasn't saying it to be hurtful and it was more a reflection of how he's dealing with things, it made me angry. I even asked him to read my last post so he can better understand where I am emotionally and mentally right now. I think he understands now that I need to talk, if not to him, then to someone. He even opened up some and talked a little about how he was feeling. Then we looked through some pictures he had taken in the hospital, which I hadn't seen yet, and he held me while I cried.
Later, he mentioned calling my mom to ask her to come back since she was such a huge help to me while she was here. I think he wants to make sure I have support even if he's not capable of giving it to me in the way I need it right now. In some ways, I think this is harder on him than it is me because he's not only grieving the loss of our child, but also dealing with the fact that he nearly lost me with her. The fact that he's always taken his role as provider for our family seriously and he's still out of work isn't helping either.
He did file a complaint with corporate headquarters over the firing and they said they would look into it, but we haven't heard anything yet. We're also trying to get his unemployment claim approved. So far, they haven't made a determination, just said that there is a problem with the claim and that he would be contacted once it was decided whether or not to approve his claim. If it is denied, we plan to appeal. We've thought about hiring a lawyer, but don't have the money to pay for one unless we can find someone willing to work on contingency.
On a good note, a friend of Steve's from his old job gave him a lead on what sounds to be a great job so he put in an application and they've asked him to come in for an interview next week. Keep your fingers crossed that he gets it. The same friend also organized a sympathy card and took up a collection to help us out. My jaw dropped when I opened the card and found a wad of money. By the time I finished counting it, I was in tears because Steve's former coworkers had donated enough to make half our bills for the month.
Thank you to the ones that mentioned GriefShare. I was not aware of it before so I'm looking into that now. I also did some searching and found a support group that meets here in town. They only meet once a month so I have to wait a couple weeks, but I have it marked on my calendar so I can go.
A lot of people have said that they wish there was something they can do. I'm normally not the type of person to ask for help, even when I clearly need it, but I'm going to ask a favor of you now. While I was in the hospital, the social worker told me about a program for women in my situation, moms who have lost a child. It's called The Finley Project. They assist with funeral planning, pay for counseling, connect you with local support groups and assign you a one-on-one support person, among other things.
About a week after I got home from the hospital, I applied to the program. I recently heard back from them and, unfortunately, they are currently out of funding. They are funded completely by donations and help as many women as they can until the money runs out. Right now, I'm on the waiting list and they're trying to help me locate other resources in the meantime. If you can spare a few dollars, would you please consider making a donation to the program (link)? You'll not only be helping me, but also helping other women that are going through what I am now.