Saturday, June 23, 2012

You Save Me

I've long been a fan of Kenny Chesney. I don't think there's a song he's released that I haven't liked. Not long after Steve and I got married, the album The Road and the Radio was released and there was one song on that album that really spoke to me.

It's called You Save Me. It says everything I believe about my relationship with my husband. I loved it so much I even made it the ringtone on my phone for when he calls. Today I was listening to it again and I realized how much it says about what I'm finding with our newly begun DD relationship.

Every now and then I get a little lost
My strings all get tangled, my wires all get crossed
Every now and then I'm right up on the edge
Dangling my toes out over the ledge
I just thank God you're here

Sometimes I start to stray off the path we've chosen together. Even though I know it's not good for our relationship or family, I get a little mixed up. I'm thankful Steve is here to catch me before I go too far.

'Cause when I'm a bullet shot out of a gun
'Cause when I'm a firecracker comin' undone
Or when I'm a fugitive ready to run, all wild-eyed and crazy
No matter where my reckless soul takes me
Baby you save me

Sometimes the things I do are reckless. Even though I know I need to slow down and think about what I'm doing, I'm quick to act (or react). Rather than deal with the issues, I run. My body may still be here, but I'm locked away behind a wall I've built. He saves me from myself.

It's hard lovin' a man that's got a gypsy soul
I don't know how you do it, I'm not sure how you know
The perfect thing to say to save me from myself
You're the angel that believes in me like nobody else
And I thank God you do

While the song is written for and sang by a man, I could easily substitute woman. I know it's sometimes difficult to live with me. But he always knows the right thing to say (or do) to keep me from harming us. He believes in me, that I will eventually come around and do the right thing. And I'm thankful every day that he doesn't give up on me, on us.

I know I don't tell you nearly enough
That I couldn't live one day without your love

When I'm a ship tossed around on the waves

Up on a highwire that's ready to break
When I've had just about all I can take
Baby you, baby you save me

I'm not always good about saying it (or showing it), but I can't imagine going through life without Steve. When life throws me for a loop or I'm stressed to the max, he's always there to help me through it. Like Stormy says, he's my shelter in the storm. He always saves me-from myself, from my destructive actions, from life getting to me.

I was truly blessed the day God brought my husband into my life. Even though we've had our ups and downs, he's always been there for me. He's never given up on believing we could make it through the storms that have rocked our lives.

When I first approached Steve about bringing DD into our lives, I was worried he would think I was crazy. He didn't. Instead he saw my email for what it was-an admission that my behavior wasn't good for us, an apology for hurting him through my words and actions, and most of all, a plea for help in getting us back where we needed to be.

And although I may push against the limits he's set for us or not like the tactics necessary to bring me around, I'll forever be grateful that he cares enough and is strong enough to be the leader in our marriage and in our home.

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