Saturday, July 7, 2012

What Is Disrespect?

Like most DD couples, one of our rules is no disrespect. I was the one to request this rule because I knew that I sometimes did or said things that were disrespectful. I felt bad about it and I wanted to change.

What is disrespect? To me, it encompasses a lot of things. I think not giving him my full attention when he's talking to me is disrespectful. I think me getting aggravated at him over something silly, raising my voice and then slamming the door behind me as I walk away is disrespectful. I think snapping at him is disrespectful. I think telling him to shut up is disrespectful (granted he was talking to me while I was on an important phone call, but I could have phrased my request better).

But I'm not quite what Steve's definition of disrespect is. You see, I have done all of those things that I just mentioned at various times over the last few weeks. I didn't set out to do them, but old habits die hard. Not once has the no disrespect rule been enforced, which leads me to believe that he doesn't see those things as disrespectful. So I'm left with the question of what does he consider to be disrespect to him and his authority as head of the household.

Don't worry. I'm not going to keep pushing his buttons to see what gets a reaction. We're going to have a few hours alone this evening and I plan to bring up the subject then. But in the meantime, I'm curious about other DD couples.

Do you and your partner have differing views on what disrespect is? Who sets the guidelines on what defines disrespect?


  1. I think it's one of those, "you know it when you see it/feel it" things that you figure out as you go and I completely get where you are coming from. Sometimes some thing that I think might bother him just doesn't, and other times I am surprised by what does. It's a learning process though, right?

    1. Thanks Tess. It's definitely a learning process.

      I think part of the issue is that I tend to be harder on myself than he is. Like when we first started DD, he thought that me saying sorry and trying to do better was enough for him to forgive me for my past words and actions. I, on the other hand, couldn't forgive myself and was feeling extremely guilty despite him telling me I was forgiven. It wasn't until we talked about it and he spanked me for it that I could finally let it go.


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