Saturday, September 22, 2012

Date Night Derailed

Since we brought domestic discipline into our relationship, Steve and I have been making more of an effort to spend one on one time together. Now that we're communicating better, he has realized how much I need that time and how it affects my mood when I don't get it.

So we've been scheduling date night roughly every other week. We send our daughter to Grandma's house for a few hours and I get my one on one time. Sometimes we go out. Sometimes we stay in and watch a movie.

With everything that's been going on recently, we haven't had a date night in nearly 2 months. So when our daughter mentioned going to Grandma's, we jumped at the chance. The plan was to drop her off, then head a few towns over to pick up a few things from the adult store and go out to eat.

It was a good idea in theory. It didn't work so well in practice. Steve's boss called and said he was bring his paycheck over so we decided to wait on him. We waited and waited and waited some more. After a while, I gave up the idea of going out to eat or shopping because I knew there wouldn't be enough time to do all that and get back in time to pick our daughter up by bedtime.

There's a grocery store right around the corner so I went to pick up a few steaks to grill, figuring I'd at least get a good dinner out of the night. When I came back, the neighbor was here. He's okay, but company was the last thing I wanted to see when I pulled in the driveway, especially when it's someone who always stays forever and is incapable of taking a hint.

Wouldn't you know as soon as the steaks were done, Steve's boss finally showed up. I ended up eating alone. By the time we got rid of everyone and both of us ate, it was past time to pick up our daughter.

Despite our date night derailment, there were some good things that happened. One, it didn't cause an argument. In the past, I would have got mad over this type of situation. While I know there wasn't really anything Steve could do, I would have took out my frustration on him. Instead of focusing on my frustration, I respectfully let him know that I was disappointed our night didn't go as planned because I was looking forward to time alone with him.

The second good thing is that I finally opened up to Steve about my realization that sometimes I need a spanking to release tension and built up emotions, not just because I'm in trouble. Up until now, I've kept quiet in the hopes that he would realize it himself. However, this often resulted in me getting frustrated because he didn't, which led to me getting myself in trouble because my mindset wasn't where it needed to be. While it got me the spanking I needed, I didn't like the cycle.

So when Steve jokingly asked if I wanted to get spanked while we were waiting, I said yes, let's go right now. He didn't end up spanking me right then, but we did start talking about how I was feeling really bottled up at the moment, which was affecting my mood and my mindset. And I confessed that I thought a spanking would help me get everything out.

So much later after everyone was gone and our daughter was asleep for the night, we headed to the bedroom. We talked some more and I tried to explain things a little better. I'm not sure if he completely got what I was saying, but he did say that whenever I felt like I needed a spanking, he wanted me to come to him and let him know. Then he spanked me.


  1. glad some good things came of it

  2. Sorry your date night got derailed. :( But, I think you handled it very well! Unfortunately I've been guilty of taking out my frustration on Michael before, when it wasn't really his fault. It's something I try hard not to do anymore, but sometimes it still happens, usually only if I'm feeling really overwhelmed though. And as for admitting to Steve that sometimes you need to be spanked at times other than for discipline is huge! You should be proud of yourself! :)


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