Wednesday, October 31, 2012

No Longer Frustrated and Disconnected

I don't have a lot of time to write today, but I wanted to update everyone on what happened after yesterday's post. I also wanted to say thanks to everyone that commented.

I was going to read Steve my post as many of you suggested, but as it turns out I wasn't anywhere near the computer when we got a chance to talk. So I just chose my words carefully and told him what was on my mind.

It turns out we were on the same page as far as the spanking. He felt like the counting interfered with us talking and made the spanking feel more like a game instead of a tool to keep me on track. So the counting is out (yay!). He even apologized for the way it was handled.

As for the unresolved issues that we were supposed to have dealt with, he was still on the fence. While they were on his mind, he couldn't get past the idea that it was unfair for him to spank after he'd already told me he wasn't going to spank for it. So we agreed to let those go. He said I'd be in trouble soon enough anyway. Since I had done my chores for the day, I just laughed it off.

Steve did tell me he wouldn't put spankings off anymore unless absolutely necessary. Since he knows it frustrates me to have him not do a spanking after it's been hanging over my head for several days, he promised not to do that anymore. He will deal with it at the first opportunity, even if it turns out to be a week after the original offense.

After our talk, we snuggled in bed and watched TV for a bit. Then he asked me about a chore that I was supposed to have done about a week ago. As much as I hated to admit it, I had forgotten it so it still wasn't done. I offered to get up and do it right then, but I guess he felt like he needed to make a point. So he spanked me while giving one heck of a lecture (probably one of his best lectures yet). And I went to bed with a sore bottom curled up in his arms.

The chore in question was done first thing this morning. I had planned to knock out today's chores right afterwards, but something came up that had to be dealt with ASAP. So I called Steve to get his okay to put them off until it could be handled. As it turns out, my ASAP situation didn't take as long to handle as I thought it would so I got home in plenty of time to finish up and still had time to do some of the things I wanted to do.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Disconnected and Frustrated

If you've been following along here, you know that sometimes Steve puts off punishments for a few days and then ends up forgoing them altogether. He always says he doesn't feel right punishing for something that happened days before. While I understand what he's saying, it's frustrating waiting days with it hanging over my head only to have nothing happen. Even worse, because nothing happens, I end up feeling guilty because it was left unresolved.

Which leads us to the conversation we had the other night. From little comments Steve has made here and there, I've suspected that he felt just as unresolved as I did. Every time I'd ask him about it, he'd say it wouldn't be fair to me if he changed his mind after telling me I was off the hook, but he would never say if he was feeling unresolved about those punishments.

Finally the other night he admitted he did feel unresolved. I told him I felt the same. So we talked about it for a while and agreed that we needed something so we could both move on from those missed punishments. Since Monday's role affirmation was only a couple days away, we decided to wait until then.

Then there was yesterday. We went to bed last night and initially it seemed like he had forgot, but then he remembered it was Monday. First he wanted to try a new position, me laying with my upper body on the bed and my legs hanging down. He also wanted me to count, something he's never made me do before. On a side note, whatever genius came up with the idea to put spanking videos on a website that sells implements needs a swift kick in their hindquarters. Steve got way too many ideas.

The new position didn't work for us because my feet kept sliding (socks are slick on a hardwood floor). Since we were both afraid he'd inadvertently hit the wrong spot because of me sliding, we ditched that position and went back to the tried and true over the pillow position.

The counting part really sucked for me because I have enough of my mind with the burning in my bottom to keep up with what number he's on. Steve ended up stopping at 25 swats with the wooden spoon, which surprised me because although I had never counted before, I was pretty sure there were more swats than that usually.

I lay there for a few minutes waiting for him to continue, but he never did. Finally I asked if that was it and he said he thought that was enough because I'd been good lately. A lot of thoughts were swirling around in my head so I got up to think about things and try to get my thoughts straight so I could talk to him.

One, it felt very disconnected. From the very first role affirmation when I told him that I needed to be talked to during it, he's made a point to do it. He talks about slips I've had, why they're not good for us and the direction he wants to see us going. This time was different. He didn't say a word other than to remind me to stay still or keep the count. I ended up feeling like the spanking had no purpose.

Two, I'm frustrated because I don't feel like he handled those issues we both felt unresolved on. So I've waited a couple days yet again only to have him not do it again. It was bad enough the first time he let stuff go, but for him to do it again after we had talked and agreed to deal with it really bugs me.

The combination of things left me feeling rebellious. It also had me wanting to do something to provoke some reaction. But I fought down those feelings and did the right thing. Yay me! I went back in the bedroom a little later to talk to Steve about what I was feeling, but ended up not saying anything because I was afraid my frustration would spill out.

So here I am today still trying to get all my thoughts straight. I know I need to talk to him about what I'm feeling, but I also know I need to do it the right way. I don't want him to feel like he let me down or that he failed at being HoH. I know it's a role he's still growing into and there's bound to be growing pains so I'm trying really hard to be patient and supportive of his efforts.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Buns of Steel

I'm celebrating today. You see I have now entered the ranks of those with buns of steel. Last night for the very first time ever I broke an implement with my butt.

I managed to get myself in hot water on Thursday for forgetting a chore. It didn't help that the chore in question was one of Steve's pet peeves. After he spanked me, he told me I had to do it the next day. He also said if it wasn't done when he got home, there would be dire consequences. He spelled out those consequences in explicit detail so there was no question that he was serious about it. It wasn't a pretty picture. It never is when it involves your most hated implements, the words deliberate disobedience and a promise of not sitting easily afterwards.

I have a bad habit of procrastinating. Even though I know it's better to get stuff done early so I can relax for the rest of the day, I put stuff off. If I happen to remember the chore during the day, I check the clock to see how much time I have left and then put it off some more. I keep putting it off until I'm down to an hour, sometimes less. Then I rush around in a frenzy to get stuff done.

A lot of times it works. This time wasn't one of them. Since the chore would only take me a few minutes to do, I put it off until the last minute. Steve got home earlier than I expected and I was busted.

Later that evening we were in the bedroom. Him swatting fast and furious. Me laid across the pillow struggling to stay still and submit to the spanking. About halfway through the spanking, I thought I heard a faint snap. A few seconds later Steve said "Well that didn't last long."

I looked up from the pillow I had my face buried in to find him holding the handle of the paint stirring stick in his hand with the upper part of it hanging down. Apparently he hadn't realized it broke until he went to swat me again with it and felt the upper part hit his hand. I cracked up.

He let me have my laugh for a minute before continuing on with the remaining implements. I ended up getting off a little easier than Steve planned thanks to our dog. He's a small dog, but thinks he's a lot bigger. He's also very protective of our family, especially me. He has got between me and Steve before and once bit the wooden spoon I was being spanked with.

But for some reason we forgot to put him out like we usually do. About the time the paint stick broke, he realized what was going on and came rushing out of the blanket to protect me. He started barking and growling at Steve. When that didn't work, he got in between us to block the swats. After moving him a few times and having him get right back in the way, Steve gave up.

I think my little hero deserves a steak. Then I'm going to go do a Buns of Steel workout. Now that I know my butt can break an implement, I'm setting my goal for the wooden spoon and hanger.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

PK's Yes/No Meme

My turn to answer PK's memes. Love doing things like this. Please copy the questions and answer them on your own blog.

Only two rules: You must answer yes or no. You may not explain unless someone asks.

Taken a picture naked? Yes
Made money illegally? No
Had a one night stand? Yes
Been in a fist fight? No
Slept with your best friend? Yes
Had sex in a public place? Yes
Ditched work to have sex? No
Slept with a member of the same sex? Yes
Seen someone die? Yes
Ran from the police? No
Woke up somewhere and not remember how you got there? Yes
Worn your partners unmentionables? No
Fallen asleep at work? No
Used toys in the bedroom? Yes
Ran a red light? Yes
Been fired? Yes
Been in a car accident? Yes
Pole danced or done a striptease? Yes
Loved someone you shouldn't? Yes
Sang karaoke? Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes
Laughed so hard you peed your pants? No
Caught someone having sex? Yes
Kissed a perfect stranger? No
Shaved your partner? Yes
Given your private parts a nickname? No
Ever gone in public without underwear? Yes
Had sex on a roof top? No
Played chicken? No
Mooned/flashed someone? Yes
Do you sleep naked? Yes
Blacked out from drinking? No
Felt like killing someone? Yes
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? Yes
Been with someone because they were in a band? No
Taken 10 shots of liquor in a day? Yes
Shot a gun? Yes
Gone outside naked? Yes

Monday, October 22, 2012

You Can't Outstubborn a HoH

I've been debating about writing this post for a few days now. Some of my hesitation was because I was embarrassed over it. I also didn't want to put the whole experience down in words because then I would have to face up to the fact that I let my stubbornness and procrastination carry me into a battle I had no hope of winning.

But I figure if I'm going to tell our story, I may as well tell it like it is, warts and all. Besides one day I may actually need a reminder of what happens when stubbornness and procrastination go head to head with a determined HoH.

It all started when Steve told me to clean up the living room. I protested because the mess was mainly his and our daughter's mess. While taking care of the house is my responsibility, I didn't think it was asking too much for them to pick up after themselves. After all, I may be a wife and a mom, but I'm not a maid. I got stubborn about it and dug in my heels, refusing to do it. When he came home, it wasn't done. Needless to say, he was not happy and I got spanked over it.

On the second day, he told me again to clean up the living room. I actually started to do it, but the more I picked up stuff they had been too lazy to pick up themselves, the madder I got. So I said the heck with it and went to do something more fun. You guessed it. I got spanked. It seems he doesn't consider a chore done until it's completely finished.

I was still feeling stubborn on the third day, but a little leery of yet another spanking. So I decided to work a little more on the living room and then do some other chores. I guess I figured it would work because it was showing some effort on not only the chore he gave me, but others as well. I figured wrong.

Steve came looking for me after our daughter was down for the night and when he found me he said he was going to the bedroom, that I had better be there soon and that I did not want him to have to come back and get me. Do I really need to say what happened when I arrived in the bedroom?

By the fourth day, I was tired of getting spanked, especially since each one was worse than the previous one, and I was determined not to get another one. I procrastinated the morning away, figuring I had the afternoon to get it done. But some unexpected things came up and I didn't get a chance to do it.

Rather than wait for Steve to see it, I met him in the driveway when he pulled in and tearfully confessed. I even told him that I had considered using the stuff that came up in the afternoon as an excuse, but decided not to because if I hadn't procrastinated, it wouldn't have been an issue.

That threw him a little bit. One on hand, he was tempted to be lenient because he knew the stuff that came up was stuff that I could not put off. He was also proud of me for confessing and accepting responsibility for it without making excuses. On the other hand, he knows I don't do well with inconsistency.

So he decided to go forward with the punishment, but temper it because there were some mitigating factors. But by the time we could get to it, he was having trouble keeping his eyes open so he put it off. He said he'd try to get it in the morning if he had time before work, but if not, it would be handled the next night.

Then we were at day five. We both ended up dozing back off after I got our daughter off to school. By the time he woke up again, he was running late so he gave me a hasty kiss, reminded me that the living room better be finished by the time he got home and took off. I was probably asleep again before he even made it out of the driveway.

I ended up sleeping a lot longer than I planned and by the time I got up, I didn't have a lot of time for cleaning before I had to pick our daughter up. I managed to get everything but the sweeping and swiffering done before I left. We had to stop by Walmart on the way back so it was close to four before we got home. I figured I would be okay because Steve normally doesn't get home before five.

I had just picked up the broom when I heard his truck in the driveway. I was devastated because I was so close yet would be getting another spanking because it wasn't completely done. I took a chance and ran outside to ask him to please wait ten minutes before he came in. He knew why without me saying so, but I guess he felt bad for me because he said he had to unload his truck anyway. I sent our daughter out to help him and rushed to finish.

A little while later, he finally came in. He looked around and said it looked good except I hadn't cleared off the coffee table or end table. I started to make the excuse that it was his stuff and our daughter's stuff but then I stopped. I guess all the frustration of the week caught up to me because my eyes filled up with tears and I told him that I was giving up and would just stay in the bedroom since that's where I kept ending up.

I turned and started down the hall to the bedroom when he called me back. He said he was proud of me for doing as much as I had. Then he surprised me by saying I was right about them picking up after themselves so they were going to help me by cleaning off the two tables.

Steve ended up letting me off the hook for the spanking that had been postponed from the previous night. He said he felt like it would be unfair to spank me since I did finally get it done. So that's the whole sad tale. You know my dad once told me I could outstubborn a mule. I just wish he'd told me that I can't outstubborn a HoH.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Shopping Adventures

Yesterday afternoon I was at Walmart with our daughter. We had went to pick up a few things and decided to wander around for a bit. We stopped off at the paint section because our daughter likes to get one of those paint color cards. It started out as something to entertain her when she's little, but has turned into a habit.

While we were there, I decided to check out a paint stirrer stick since I've heard about them on a few blogs and Steve had mentioned a few nights before that he wanted more implements. Why he wants another one already is beyond me. We just bought a new one a couple weeks ago. Not to mention he had the brilliant idea to use the back scratcher the other night and it now resides in the drawer with the rest of his implements.

The more important question is why was I even considering helping him in his search for new implements since in hindsight, I wouldn't have helped with the ones we already have. I guess I'll have to plead a temporary case of insanity because I left the paint department with a paint stirrer made for a 5 gallon bucket of paint. The thing is nearly 2 feet long.

Anyway, we did a little more shopping and then headed to the register. The cashier rang up everything, gave me my total and I went to swipe my card only to hear the lady behind me in line yell "Wait!" The cashier and I both turned to her and that's when she said it.

Don't forget your paddle.

For a moment, I was too stunned to speak. Then I said a quick thanks, paid and made a hasty getaway.

By the time we got home, Steve was just getting out of his truck. I got our daughter busy with cartoons and showed Steve my new purchase. Then I told him the whole sordid story about my adventure at Walmart. After he got done laughing his butt off, he informed me that they are also called paint paddles, a fact that the woman in line obviously knew even though I didn't.

Of course with my reaction and the fact that I wasn't buying any paint to go along with the "paddle" if the woman has any imagination at all, she probably connected the dots after I left.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

I Get the Spoon...And I Give It Back

One of Steve's oft-used expressions during spankings is "This hurts me more than it hurts you." I've always disagreed and once responded in a fit of frustration "You should try being on this end." (Remember OTK Conversations?) The first time I said it, he got cracked up. He ended up laying down the spoon and pulling me in his arms, at which point we both laughed until we were close to tears and the punishment was forgotten.

It has become our thing during spankings. He says his line and I say mine. It no longer works to end a punishment, but it does remind both of us that the reason we are doing this is because we want to have more of those laughable moments where we genuinely enjoy being together and living in harmony.

Once after a spanking, I was feeling frustrated and trying to explain to Steve why I sometimes fight a spanking, either by protesting before it starts or by moving out of position during it. I told him it hurt and since he was the one wielding the spoon, he just didn't understand how it felt and how hard it was to submit to it. He got quiet, a sure sign that he's thinking.

A minute later he handed me the spoon and rolled onto his stomach. He told me I was right and he was giving me an opportunity to show him how it felt. To say I was surprised was an understatement. I was so stunned by it that I just sat there holding the spoon in wide-eyed amazement. I mean how many spanked wives get the chance to give their HoH a few swats? Was it a trick?

But he kept laying there quietly waiting for the swats to land. I tried. I really did. After all, this was a once in a lifetime, probably never ever going to be offered again opportunity, one I'd be kicking myself for passing up the next time I found myself over his knee with that darned spoon warming my bottom. I've playfully swatted Steve with my hand before when we were playing around, but this was a whole different ball game.

I couldn't do it. It didn't feel right.

After a couple minutes, he lifted up on his elbows and looked at me. He looked from my face to the spoon laying on the bed beside me, then sat up. I took his hand, turned it palm up and laid the spoon in it with a rueful smile. I told him I couldn't do it because it didn't feel right.

And if you're wondering...

Yes, I did regret not getting in a few swats before I gave up the spoon the next time it was blazing a trail of fire across my backside.

Monday, October 15, 2012

How to Panic a HoH



I've been thinking.

Okay, about what?

I've been thinking that I want to go back to the way things were before.

What?! Why?!

For the record, I wasn't talking about doing away with domestic discipline. I was talking about the system for getting housework done. When we first started, Steve would give me a few things to do each day. It might be cleaning out the fridge, making some important phone calls or doing a load of laundry. I always had at least two chores, but usually no more than five. If he knew one of the chores was a time-consuming one, he'd only give me a couple chores. On days that the chores were easy ones, I would get more. You get the idea.

The only problem with that system is that he sometimes forgot to give me chores and I'd end up with a chore-free day. Not that I'm complaining, but things weren't getting done. And he didn't always notice other things that needed to be done and I wasn't exactly forthcoming about those. So we decided a new system was in order.

I did a little research and settled on the FlyLady system. Each day had specific chores. For instance, I decided that Mondays were when I would dust and wash towels. Each week focused on a specific area of the house. Ideally the area would be done by the end of the week, but the goal was to spend some time each day working on that area. I wrote out the plan and took it to Steve for approval. He said it looked good and we were off.

It was a good idea in theory, but failed miserably in execution. There were a couple reasons it failed. The first reason (the main one) is that Steve could never keep up with what I was supposed to do each day so he usually just assumed I had done it. If he asked me, I would tell him, but for the most part, I had a don't ask don't tell policy. This caused two reactions in me. I got frustrated because I worried about being in trouble only to have nothing happen and I was tempted to keep doing it since it went unnoticed.

The second reason was that it wasn't flexible enough. Take my recent illness. Admittedly there were some days that I could have done some chores, but there were also days when I didn't have enough energy to get out of bed, much less do chores. Did I do them anyway regardless of how bad I felt, roll them over to the next day or skip them altogether?

So last night we hammered out a new arrangement. Laundry has to be done Monday, Wednesday and Friday. He doesn't care what I wash on those days as long as I do at least one load each of those days and by the end of the week, we all have clean clothes, towels and sheets. If I know a chore that needs to be done and I know he probably won't think of it, I have to suggest it. Otherwise, each day he will give me the chores that he sees need to be done.

A little later, we had another conversation.

So you thought I wanted to quit?



Because you're tired of getting spanked?

Well yeah I don't like getting spanked and sometimes I get frustrated that I'm still getting spanked over the same things, but I can't argue with the fact it has changed things.

It has.

So what if I had said I didn't want to do this anymore?

We would have talked about it and I would have tried my damnedest to talk you out of quitting. Because I like the way things are now. I'm not just talking about the house either. We get along a lot better now.

I like that too.

Besides I like how cute your ass looks when it's red.

At that point, I smacked him with a pillow. He retaliated by tickling me. We laughed and played for a bit, then snuggled up and fell asleep holding hands. And all was good in our world.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

I'm Not a Very Good Weather Forecaster

My weather forecasting skills must be on the fritz. After two weeks of building, I was calling for one heck of a storm round these parts. The kind of storm that brings a deluge of rain, thunder rumbling loud enough to shake the windows, lightning streaking the sky and wind whipping through the trees. I was all set to hide out until the storm was over and calm weather returned.

That's not the storm that arrived last night. The evening got off to a slow start. At the appointed time, I dropped our daughter off at her grandparents' house. It took me close to an hour to get away myself because they wanted to catch up. I thought for sure Steve would be home when I got there, but he wasn't.

About an hour after I made it home, Steve finally arrived. I walked out to greet him, only to see that he wasn't alone. He had brought home a coworker. Apparently the coworker's wife was supposed to come pick him up when he called to tell her he was off work, but she wasn't answering the phone. So Steve came home, swapped to another vehicle (his work truck is terrible on gas and the guy lives on the other side of town) and took him home.

By the time he got back, I was feeling a bit frustrated and trying hard to not let it color my attitude. After all, when a storm is expected, the last thing you want is weather conditions worsening and maybe throwing in some hail stones or tornadoes.

Then Steve's phone rang. I have a love/hate relationship with that phone. I love that I can get ahold of him any time I need to talk to him. But I hate how it always seems to ring when we're trying to get some alone time or having a conversation. Prior to DD, I once jerked it out of his hand, turned it off and shoved it to the bottom of my purse because he kept taking calls while we were out on a date night.

Anyway, the call was from a friend who had just got home after having surgery. After being cooped up in the hospital for a couple days, he wanted to come over. To Steve's credit, he told the guy that it would have to wait because it was our alone time. BUT instead of hanging up, he continued to talk to him for a while.

Once he got off the phone, we were down to less than an hour before we had to pick our daughter up. Needless to say, I was not happy. I was really fighting to not let my frustration get the better of me. I mostly managed although a "I don't know why the hell I even bother." did slip out.

He caught up to me as I was leaving the room, turning me to face him and lifting my chin so we were eye to eye (well as eye to eye as we can be considering he's taller than I am). He apologized that our evening didn't go as planned and told me that the punishment I had coming would still be carried out, just delayed until our daughter was home and in bed. Then he left to go pick her up.

While he was gone, I kept thinking and my frustration kept growing. After two weeks of having a punishment hanging over my head, I was not happy to have to wait any longer. As a result, by the time he got back, I was feeling kind of feisty. I might have even told him that he may as well just go to bed because I was NOT coming in there so he could spank me. When he told me I would have to come to bed some time, I said I'd sleep in the recliner in the living room. I can already see you shaking your head and saying "Oh Dana, why do you insist on digging deeper when you're already in trouble?"

Steve just calmly moved forward in his chair until he was in front of me, lifted my chin so we were face to face and told me he could just put me over his knee right where we were (we were in our home office). After one dubious look at his office chair (which has a tendency to dump you in the floor if you lean too far to one side), I gave up and began the slow march to the bedroom with him following close behind.

Once in the bedroom. I laid my head on his lap and he stroked my back while we talked. Then he put me in position and got started. It was over quicker than I expected. He granted me grace. A lot of it. In all honesty, more than I deserved.

So instead of the storm of the century like I was predicting, it ended up being a brief cloudburst. Fast and furious for just a few minutes, then clouds clearing to let the sunshine back in and a rainbow appear.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Four Months

Yesterday was our four month anniversary since deciding to implement domestic discipline into our marriage. Looking back at all the changes it has brought to our relationship, I regret taking so long to work up my nerve to talk to Steve about DD. If I had brought this to him when I first started thinking about it, we'd be close to celebrating two years by now. Given how easily he agreed to it, I find myself wondering why I was so worried about his reaction that it took me a year and half of thinking before I talked to him about it.

Last night we were laying in bed watching TV together when he commented that I seemed like I was feeling better. If you read my post earlier this week, you know what that means. I jokingly replied that I was still sick and gave a few fake coughs as proof. He just laughed. Truth be told, although I'm still not completely well, I am feeling a lot better. I've even managed to catch up on some of the housework I was behind on.

He decided to wait until this evening since we're going to have the house to ourselves for a few hours while our daughter visits her grandparents. Once I heard that, I was all set to make a quick getaway before he changed his mind, but he had other ideas. As soon as I sat up on the edge of the bed and reached down to put on my slippers, he surprised me by saying I was to stay put or else. Since I had already dodged a major bullet for a day, I decided not to chance finding out what the "or else" was.

So I laid back down beside him under the quilt. He reached our for my hand and intertwined his fingers in mine. We lay there talking for a while before settling into a companionable silence as he watched TV and I let my thoughts wander.

It's funny how our relationship has changed over time. Early in our relationship, we were always together. If he went in the bedroom to watch a movie, I was right there beside him. If I curled up in the living room recliner with a book, he would play on the computer in the same room. As time passed, though, we started spending a lot of time apart. We were still under the same roof, but most of the time we were in separate rooms of the house.

I used to fuss about us not spending time together. I felt like I didn't get any time to myself with him. But I was just as much to blame for it as he was. Now that Steve's found his inner HoH, he has been insisting on it me staying nearby more. Even if I'm not watching TV with him, he wants me close so he can see and touch me. So when he turns on COPS for the fiftieth time, I grab my laptop or a book and head to the bedroom with him. Because even if we're both busy doing our own thing, I have to admit I like knowing he's close enough I can see and touch him too.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

The Calm Before the Storm

Things have been kinda peaceful around here lately. You might even say they've been spank-free for a bit. I'd like to say that it's because I've been a perfect angel and haven't done anything to land myself in hot water, but I can't. This is just the calm before the storm. If you look closely, you can see the storm clouds gathering on the horizon. It's only a matter of time until the storm arrives.

It all started when I got a cold, a cold I generously shared with Steve (wasn't that nice of me?). His ran its course within a few days. Mine, on the other hand, has got progressively worse. I'm not surprised. Thanks to numerous respiratory infections as a child, I have weak lungs. Add in asthma and me being a smoker (dumb, I know) and I'm a magnet for respiratory illnesses. A cold almost almost turns into bronchitis. Or worse.

After a scare with my breathing Thursday night, I was told to go to the doctor so I could get some antibiotics. I ended up sleeping nearly all day Friday until it was time to pick our daughter up from school and then we ran errands. By the time we got home and I remembered I was supposed to call the doctor's office, it was too late.

Steve was not pleased. It wasn't the first time that week he had been unhappy with me. You see I may have taken advantage of not feeling well to get away with some things that I normally wouldn't have. Things like letting the dishes pile up, skipping chores and being a little less than respectful. It's not that I set out to misbehave. I'm just feeling so crappy right now it's easy to give in to it and let stuff go.

But I didn't get spanked. When I asked him why he didn't, he said he's not going to spank me while I'm sick. He wants me healthy so I can focus on why I'm getting punished. So in the meantime, he's keeping track of my offenses and they will all be handled once I'm not sick anymore. At the rate I'm going, that's not going to be for a while.

Common sense would say that if you're already in trouble, it's probably a good idea to start behaving and not get in any more trouble. But I guess all the cold medicine and breathing difficulties have messed with common sense. Instead the little devil on my shoulder has come out to play. With a quick jab of her pitchfork, my angelic side was sent tumbling down. The little devil is in control and whispering things like "You're already in trouble, may as well enjoy it." in my ear.

So even though my bottom remains unspanked for now and has been for going on 2 weeks, it's just the calm before the storm. Once I'm back on my feet again, Steve will have me flipped facedown over his lap and a storm all his own will be raining down on my backside. Neither of us will enjoy the storm, but we both know it's necessary to send those storm clouds away so we can get back to our sunshine.fair weather.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012


Note: This post was originally written October 3, 2012. Since then, more implements have been added. Scroll to the bottom to find the newer ones.

Grace reminded me that I hadn't followed up about talking about our new implement purchase. I decided to do an overview of all our implements.

Wooden Spoon

Early in our DD relationship, Steve mentioned that he wished we had a bigger spoon. I foolishly  graciously decided to surprise him with one. I found this one (Mainstays wooden turner) at Walmart for a mere $3.

As you can see, this spoon is squared more than the typical wooden spoon. While I haven't been spanked with a wooden hairbrush (we don't have one), I would say it's probably similar. It's sometimes used for warmups. For minor offenses, Steve uses the spoon for the entire spanking. It has some sting, but is more thuddy. The sensation wears off pretty quickly.

The Belt
There's nothing fancy about it. It's just a plain leather belt. I bought it for Steve when his old belt fell apart because he'd had it for years.

The belt isn't used a whole lot, probably because it's not as handy as the other implements which are stored in the dresser beside the bed. He's also said it's kind of awkward to use, which is probably why it's not his first choice. Steve does wear it when we're out and about or traveling as a subtle reminder though. It's somewhat stingy and the sensation lasts a little longer than the spoon.

Plastic Hanger

I made the mistake once of telling Steve that we needed some quieter implements because I didn't like having to wait all day for a punishment. Even though I'd read about hangers, since they were referred to as very ouchie and very stingy, I was not going to mention them. Unfortunately, he thought of it on his own.

The hanger is used for major offenses and repeat offenses. It packs quite a sting, especially on an already warmed bottom. It can raise welts. I avoid it whenever possible.

Cat O'Nine Tails

This one was found on a trip to the adult toy store. It's a cat o' nine tails. The name is a bit misleading because the tails aren't knotted as they are with a normal cat o' nine. When Steve first picked it up, he wasn't too impressed with it because it looks kinda wimpy. After smacking his own palm with it a few times (and hearing me yelp when he accidentally caught my arm with it once because I was standing right beside him), he decided he liked it and tossed it in the basket.

It's not been used a lot. It has a tendency to wrap so it requires some control.Even used lightly, it had a surprising sting. The sting stays with you for a while. Note: This one has somehow disappeared. We've turned our bedroom upside down but it's nowhere to be found.


This is something I wouldn't have originally thought of as an implement. For some reason, we have a bunch of these laying around the house. One night Steve surprised me by using one during a spanking. He was pleased with the results so it now resides in the drawer with the rest of the implements.

It's less thuddy than a wooden spoon, but still has some sting to it. Since it's longer, it also leaves an impression across my entire backside. It rarely gets used because he finds our other implements more effective.

Paint Stir Stick

Also known as a paint paddle, a fact I didn't know until someone pointed it out to me. These are often given for free when you buy paint. Ours was purchased at Walmart for 28 cent. It's made for use with five gallon paint buckets so it's about two feet long.

It is similar to the backscratcher, but packs more sting because it's thinner and more flexible. They also appear to be less durable than other implements because it broke during a spanking. Of course since you can get them for free or next to nothing, it's not a big deal to replace it.

Wooden Dowels

These were purchased after Steve learned about canes (ugh!). Rather than buy an implement he wasn't sure would be effective or liked, he decided to go the cheaper route and buy something similar to try first. Hence the wooden dowel. They can be purchased for less than a dollar a piece at Walmart and I've saw them in craft stores as well.

They come in a variety of sizes. The smaller sizes are whippier and have more sting. The thicker ones have less flexibility and tend to be thuddier. The smaller ones tend to break fairly easy when used. I've managed to break two already. I have to admit I was happy they broke because they are pretty stingy. Note: Now that we have an actual cane, these are pretty much no longer used.

The Cane

They're fairly inexpensive. We got a set of two rattan schoolhouse canes for $10.99 from Cane-Iac. If you're looking for a place to buy implements, I highly recommend them. They have good quality products, good prices and are fast shippers.

As with the dowels, they come in a variety of sizes. The one we have is very stingy. The picture is of the one we have. I don't like it at all. Unfortunately, because they're more flexible than the dowels, the odds of me breaking it are very slim.

The Paddle

These can be homemade or purchased. Prices can vary widely depending on the size and the type of wood. I think ours was $18.99 from Cane-Iac.

It's both thuddy and stingy at the same time. Holes in the paddle can make it more stingy. Of course Steve wanted holes so that's what we have. Like the cane, this is one I prefer to avoid when I can. Unfortunately, it's one of his favorite implements so it makes an appearance at most spankings.

Silicon Spatula

Sometimes referred to as an icing spreader. In a brief moment of insanity at the dollar store, I tossed this in the cart. I had read about it a few times and I was curious. Ours is a double-headed one with an end for spreading and another for scraping.

When he first saw it, Steve said it was wimpy. I was tempted to agree with him after the first few test swats but then he figured out the best way to swing it and I quickly learned that it can be stingy, especially when applied to the sit spots. The sensation also tends to linger for a bit.

Leather Paddle

In an effort to get away from so much wood in our collection, I talked Steve into letting me buy a leather paddle. Ours came from Cane-Iac and was $24.99.

The first time we tried it, it didn't seem too bad. It was a little stingy in spots, but nothing major. The second time, it had more of an effect. I don't know if it was the difference in pain tolerance between attempts or he figured out how to use it more effectively. It's more stingy than thuddy. From what Steve told me afterwards, when the side with the heart is used, it leaves a nice imprint of a heart on my backside.

Rubber Paddle

While I was buying our leather paddle, I happened to look through the close-outs on Cane-Iac and came across a rubber paddle. Curiosity combined with my love of a bargain had me throwing it in my cart as well. And since it's made from recycled materials, it's a green implement. It was only $9.99.

When used lightly, it has more thud. When used harder, it's both thuddy and stingy. It also seems to build heat as I was still feeling the effects over an hour afterwards.