Thursday, November 8, 2012

Mornings, Migraines and Mechanical Difficulties

I'm not a morning person. This is especially true when cold weather arrives. I don't want to leave my nice warm cocoon of blankets to face a cold day. Since I'm not a morning person, I tend to be a little cranky when I have to get up. After almost eight years together, Steve is aware of this and tends to let it slide as long as I don't let it go too far.

This morning I woke up in the early stages of a migraine. If I catch a migraine early enough, I can sometimes head it off by taking some medicine and crawling back in bed for a little while. So I asked Steve to take our daughter to school so I could do that.

Most of the time, he's pretty understanding of my migraines and willing to help if he can. This morning, however, wasn't one of those times. He started fussing about not having enough time to get ready so I told him to forget it, I'd take her myself. Then I left the room, gently closing the door behind me. I waited until I was away from him before I let out some of my frustration.

I went out to find my car frosted over. So I cranked the car to get the defroster going and grabbed my ice scraper. I figured by the time I got done scraping most of the frost off the windows, the defroster would be warmed up and melting the rest.

I got back in the car to find the defroster wasn't working. This has been an ongoing issue with my car. The ignition switch is going bad and apparently it controls more than just my ability to crank the car. Sometimes my headlights, wipers and heater/AC panel won't work even if I can crank the car. So I tried gently wiggling the key, a trick that sometimes works. It didn't work so I turned the key off and cranked the car again, another trick that sometimes works. It still wasn't working.

After four more failed attempts to get the defroster to work, I was getting aggravated. As I've said, this has been an ongoing issue with my car. Steve keeps promising to fix it, but hasn't yet. He does all of our auto repairs and maintenance so I can't take it to anyone else to have it fixed. Normally he's pretty quick about fixing my car if it's having trouble, but for some reason he's dragging his feet this time.

I looked over at his truck with the thought of taking it. There was only one problem. While his defroster works great, if I waited for it to warm up enough to clear the windshield, our daughter was going to be late for school. Since I'm short and can only reach the bottom corner of the windshield, simply using the ice scraper wasn't an option.

About this time, our daughter asked why we didn't just ask Daddy to take her. I knew it was the best option, but I also knew as aggravated as I was, I'd probably end up saying something in the process and landing myself in hot water. So I sent her to ask.

He was a little grumpy about me sending our daughter in the bedroom to wake him up. While he didn't say it, I think he thought I was trying to get around his earlier refusal to take her by getting her to sweet talk him into doing it. He had a little bit of an attitude when he came out of the bedroom, which didn't really mesh well with me being cranky and irritated and on the verge on a migraine.

Since we had a similar situation last week that I did not handle well, I was trying very hard to not have a repeat of it so I calmly explained the situation to him. When I mentioned that the frost on the back window was so thick I couldn't even scrape it, he responded that I should have just turned on the rear defroster. Mind you the rear defroster button is on the same panel as the regular defroster. I snapped at him, caught myself and left the room before I said anything else.

After they left, I took some medicine and crawled back in bed. I was half asleep when he got back. He left me alone, but I could hear him stomping around and still griping about the whole situation. I have a feeling he's still irritated at me because he hasn't called to check on me like he normally does when I'm not feeling well.

So now I'm sitting here staring at my list of chores for the day and fighting the urge to tell him the chores will get done when he fixes my car. Or maybe I'll just go buy the dang part and fix it myself. It can't be that hard, can it?

So how was your morning?


  1. YIKES! Yeah, I've got nothing.

    I too get migraines and can head them off if I see them coming ( ie am paying attention) When the kids were little Barney would NEVER stay home from work when I had one. Just once I'd like for him ( them ) to know how hard it to function. Side note, you probably shouldn't have gotten behind the wheel anyway :)

    Anyway, I am really horrible at offer sage advice in a situation like this, because I understand, and I would feel the same way. I suppose the talk to him thing comes into play YET AGAIN *wink* but who wants to waste energy on talking when you are about to get a migraine ?

    I guess I'll just revert to my Mother---This too shall pass.

    Best of luck. I feel for ya. I Really do!

    I'd hug ya, but I don't like to be touched before, during or after a migraine episode.


    1. Thanks Wilma. I don't like to drive with a migraine. If I have to, I wear sunglasses to filter the light, not an ideal solution because I'm supposed to wear glasses to drive. I won't drive if I've taken one of my pills because they make me a little loopy. That's why I asked him to take her so the pill would have time to get out of my system before I had to go pick her up this afternoon.

      I don't think Steve has ever stayed home from work because I had a migraine. He'll usually drop her off at school so I don't have to drive or take her to his mom's if there isn't any school that day. If he doesn't have to work, he'll keep her occupied so I can rest.

      I know I need to talk to him and I plan to. I just need to get in the right mindset so I'm not disrespectful when I do it. I want to talk to him, not argue with him so I want to be in the right frame of mind before I go to him.

  2. I hate it when they say they are going to do something or fix something and then they don't. We get mad about it, start running our mouth, and then get spanked for it. Maybe they do it on purpose. LOL
    I hope you get feeling better!

    1. Thanks Emma. Isn't that the truth? I've ended up spanked more than once simply because I got frustrated that he didn't do something he said he would.

      I just got off the phone with Steve. He did finally call to check on me. He also apologized for this morning and promised to stop by the parts store on his way home from work today.

    2. Maybe it's the name "STEVE" LOL

    3. Yeah, you guys should have picked a way cooler name- like Barney...bwahahaha!

  3. Oh, Dana, I'm sorry you had such a terrible morning. I get migraines, too, and I use the same trick to try to get rid of them.

    Well - I don't think giving him the no chores till car repair might be wise, especially if you're still feeling loopy from your meds. Maybe call him and say - I was thinking, I kow how busy you've been and unable to fix the car. I was thinking about taking it to XYZ garage because this morning was just too stressful for both of us. Alternately, you could offer to go buy the parts and be his assistant.

    1. Thanks June. He's not big on taking our vehicles to someone else to fix. The one time he did, it didn't end well. I did talk to him a little while ago and he's going to stop by the parts store this evening on his way home from work. He's going to try to fix it in the next day or two, but if he can't, he said he'd fix our other car (which is an easier fix) so I can drive it in the meantime.

      He knows it's more than just frustrating; it's also a safety issue. My headlights have quit working while going down the interstate at night and the other day my wipers quit working while I was driving in the rain. Thankfully God was looking out for me and nothing bad happened.

      I did rethink the no chores until the car is fixed idea. While the chores aren't going to be finished by the time he gets home (I put them off too long to be able to finish in time), I am at least making an effort towards them. It probably won't be enough to get me out of trouble, but at least he'll see that I didn't totally blow them off.

  4. I was glad to read in some of your comments that your husband is going to fix your car. Your safety has to be one of his highest priorities, and it is good to see he is taking it seriously. I hope your migraine is short-lived: functioning with one (even to do simple household chores) can be a huge challenge.

    1. Thanks OFM. He does care about my safety. He's just been so busy lately that he hasn't had a chance to do it. Thankfully the migraine did go away by yesterday evening and I woke up headache-free this morning.


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