Wednesday, December 12, 2012

What Happened

You're probably wondering about how the other night's spanking went. Like most things I've found with DD, it was a learning experience.

I was nervous going into it, something that surprised us both. One, it isn't like Steve hasn't spanked me before and I didn't know what to expect. Two, I had asked for this spanking. And yet I was more nervous about this spanking than I was the very first one he ever gave me. I guess part of it was because I had such high hopes for it. Another part was probably knowing that he might have to push me further than we've been before for it to work.

He was understanding, yet firm. He helped me get into position and then threw a surprise in the mix by restraining both my hands and my feet. He knew that this spanking might be more than I'm used to and since I have thrown hands or feet in the way before, he wanted to make sure I was safe. I've got my hand and my foot smacked before on accident so it was a valid concern.

My nervousness grew as I laid there watching him open the drawer where the implements are stored. He took them out one by one, giving the edge of the bed a test swat with each one as he pulled them out. When he started pulling out some of my more hated implements, I half considered telling him I'd changed my mind.

I felt the bed dip as he sat down and then I heard the sound of the implements all hitting the bed. He stroked my back for a minute while we talked and then he started. From the very first swat, it was clear Steve meant business. I quickly found out that I did not like the restraints because I couldn't get away. I was also seriously regretting making him promise to ignore my ouches and pleas for him to stop.

Finally he stopped and went back to stroking my back. We talked some more. He commented on the bright shade of my bottom and I let him know that it was on fire. Then he asked me the question I was dreading. Was it enough?

Enough as in my bottom is already on fire? Yep, I'm good. Enough as in he broke through that barrier and got the tears to flow? I wanted so bad to say yes because that would end it, but I knew it would be a lie. I guess my silence was answer enough for him because he said "I don't think it is." and took off swatting again.

The second round of swats came a lot faster. Steve knows I can handle harder swats if there's a brief pause between them. But when it comes to rapid-fire swats, they always seem to hurt more even if the swats are actually lighter.

When he stopped again, I was on the verge of tears but still having trouble getting them out. We talked some more and then he got up to get the belt. It doesn't get used a whole lot because he finds it awkward and it can wrap if he's not very careful. We've talked about buying or making a leather strap, but haven't got around to it yet.

It was the belt that pushed me over the edge. To my surprise, it wasn't the flood of tears I was expecting, but more like a trickle. He kept going for a minute and then just laid down beside me and held me.

Once I got it all out, we talked some more. Then he turned my focus to more pleasant things and I forgot all about the fact that my butt felt like a swarm of hornets had attacked it. I hinted that he could release me from the restraints but he just gave me that evil grin I know so well and took the opportunity to tease to his heart's content since I couldn't get away.

Much later, Steve finally undid the restraints and I flopped on my back exhausted from the night's events. As soon as my bottom hit the sheets, the burn returned with a vengeance and I immediately flipped back onto my stomach. The man actually smirked when he asked how my bottom was feeling and I told him it was on fire. Then he asked if I felt better and I had to smile because I did.

So what did we learn from all this?

It's better to deal with walls sooner rather than later. The wall had been standing for a while and it took quite a bit for it to come down. If I had asked him to help earlier, I might not have had to go through as much as I did to get where I needed to be.

Restraints are probably going to be used in the future for harder punishments. As much as I would like to submit gracefully to spankings, I still haven't mastered the art of staying still. I do okay with maintaining position during role affirmation and easier spankings, but struggle with it for harder ones. Steve liked the fact that he didn't have to worry about my hands or feet getting in the way.

If I ask him to do something, I should be very sure that it's what I want before I do it. He took me seriously when I asked him to keep going no matter what I said. While I'm glad he didn't give in, in hindsight, I probably wouldn't have said that if I'd known it was going to take as long as it did to break through.

I need the lecture. Since role affirmation was part of all this (it was Monday after all), he did lecture some. But since it went on as long as it did, he didn't lecture the entire time and a couple times he ended up repeating himself. I noticed that I responded better when he was lecturing. When he ran out of things to say, it was hard for me to focus.


  1. Good for you. You were both very brave.


    1. About halfway through, I wasn't feeling so brave, but more like doubting my sanity for asking for it. But it all worked out in the end.

  2. So happy you broke down those walls Dana and got a lovely evening. Please ask for help sooner, I'm sure your tushie would appreciate it. ;)


    1. Thanks Cat. I do plan on asking for help sooner in the future and I'm sure my bottom will appreciate that. My bottom is still tender today and it's been two days.

  3. Glad it's over for you Dana, and that you managed to break down those walls. It was brave of you to request this and it sounds intense. I don't know why, but it takes a lot for me to break down those barriers and to release emotions as well.

    It sounds as though although it was intense, it was also a good learning experience.


    1. Thanks Roz. Had I known going into it that it was going to be that intense, I'm not sure I would have been so brave about asking for it. But even though it did end up being more intense than I expected, it did the trick so I can't complain. Sometimes you just have to keep your eye on the goal so you can get through all the hurdles.

  4. I understand that need, Dana. And it is a blessing to have a partner who can take our hand and lead us through it.

    1. We are very lucky to have the kind of guys who are willing to step up and help us out when we need it.

  5. Sounds intense! But, it sounds like it accomplished the goal at hand. ;)

    1. It was, but it worked. I've felt a lot more settled since and when Steve got after me last night over something, I nearly cried with just him fussing at me. He didn't even have to spank to get through to me.


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