Monday, August 12, 2013

How Dana Got Her Groove Back

This child-free weekend has been great. In fact, it's turned out to be more than just a weekend because our daughter asked to stay longer. Instead of picking her up today like I originally planned, we're letting her stay a couple more days.

One of the things I've loved the most about this time is that Steve and I have had a chance to talk uninterrupted. So we've talked for hours about anything and everything. In the midst of all that talking, I had an aha moment.

Like many of us, early in our relationship, I went the extra mile to look good for my man. I chose outfits that accentuated my good features. I wore the sexy lingerie. At night, I had a full lineup of slinky nighties sure to get his motor running.

But somewhere along the line, I quit making the effort. Tight jeans got traded in for comfortable pull on pants. The cute tops became tank tops and tshirts. The sexy lingerie disappeared in favor of plain, serviceable undergarments. The slinky nighties were replaced by long t-shirts or tank tops and shorts.

I quit dressing sexy for Steve and I quit feeling sexy. I told myself it was because my body had changed over the years. Pregnancies had added extra pounds. My body was crisscrossed with the marks of motherhood. Nursing, gravity and getting older had taken their toll on the girls, leaving them less perky than they were in the past.

On Friday night, Steve told me to get dressed so we could go out to eat. I slipped on a dress that I knew he liked and started to leave, but something told me to turn back. That inner nudge led me to my underwear drawer and I dug through it until I managed to unearth a lacy thong that I hadn't worn in quite a while.

He didn't find out about the thong until later that night. Once I told him about it, he did something I don't think he's ever done. He asked me to strip for him. Sure he's told me to take off my pants so he could spank me, but he's never asked me to strip just so he could watch. So I did. Much later when I looked over at the dress lying in a puddle on the floor and the thong that had somehow landed across the room, I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time. I felt sexy.

The next day we were talking and Steve said he'd missed me dressing up for him. Then he surprised me by taking me shopping. Considering he hates to shop, that was huge. While we didn't really find anything, the things that he was drawn to gave me a better idea of what he was wanting to see me in.

Yesterday he took off for a little while to help a friend so I went shopping by myself. I didn't find much that I liked, but I did find a couple things. When he came home, I was dressed in my new outfit, which he loved.

Like many women, I've got in the habit of taking care of everyone else before I take care of myself. Even when I shop, I have a tendency to put aside stuff I want (or sometimes need) in favor of buying for everyone else. Steve has changed that. I now have a clothing budget and he has made it clear that the money is to be spent on me and only me. Of course he benefits in the end because I'm dressing up for him and he enjoys discovering my new lingerie.

I wonder what he'll say if I buy a pair of panties that say guilty or brat?


  1. Dana,

    Your post made me realize that I have brand new lingerie in my drawer that I have not worn. I bought it a full month ago. It is dress up time indeed. Great post!

    1. Thanks Meredith. I hope you new lingerie has the same effect on your HoH as the thongs did on Steve. ;)

  2. Hey Dana,

    Not so long ago, I felt and dressed exactly the way you have been. The way I now dress and the lingerie I wear on a daily basis changes how I feel about myself. I now feel sexy and thats so incredibly important.
    Congrats to you for finding the way he likes you to dress, and more importantly finding things that make you feel good about yourself.


    1. Thanks Callie. It's amazing the difference it makes.

  3. I love your post!

  4. Wonderful post Dana...thanks for the reminder for all our ladies. So happy that you and Steve had such a wonderful time with each other.


    1. We really did have a great time Cat. We're already talking about making this a yearly thing.

  5. HI Dana, glad you had a lovely time, it would be lovely to do it again. In the meantime can you po over to Bea, she is asking for advice just like this!
    love Jan.xx

  6. You know, you've got me thinking that I need to look at my wardrobe too. Heheh a clothing budget... love the idea of putting brat on the panties. ;) He'll get a good chuckle if you're able to find some. ;)


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