Tuesday, October 22, 2013

The Right Friends

Have you ever had one of those moments where someone says something and all of a sudden something you should have realized already becomes crystal clear? Well that happened to me last night.

Yesterday we had dinner with a couple we're friends with (Bobby and Tina). After dinner, we moved out on the front porch to talk while the kids played in the yard. Eventually the conversation landed on another couple that we're friends with and had introduced to them (Jamie and Missy). I had picked up a few hints that Bobby wasn't a big fan of Jamie so I wasn't surprised when he said that he didn't like him. I was, however, surprised when I heard the reason.

Bobby said the reason he doesn't like Jamie is that he tries to stir up trouble between me and Steve. At first, I didn't see it. I'll be the first to admit that I don't care for Jamie; I just tolerate him because he's married to my friend.

Then Bobby mentioned something that had happened a couple weeks ago and all of a sudden it made perfect sense. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it wasn't the first time Jamie had deliberately tried to cause problems between us. It's been going on for a while.

I talked to Steve about it last night and it was on my mind all day today. Marriage can be difficult enough at times without someone deliberately trying to sabotage your relationship. And it just ticks me off that someone would do that to us when we've been nothing but nice to them.

If it wasn't for my friendship with Missy, I'd turn my back on them in a heartbeat. We worked too hard to build our marriage to where it is now to let some idiot jeopardize it for no reason other than he likes stirring up trouble. So Steve and I compromised. I'll continue to be friends with Missy and hang out with her when it's just her and the kids. But we're no longer hanging out with them as a couple.

I'm just grateful that we do have good friends that recognize that we have a happy marriage and want to help us keep it that way. Otherwise, we might still be going along not realizing that some jerk that gets his kicks out of causing misery was working against us.


  1. Hey Dana...so happy you have wonderful friends like Bobby and Tina. I have to wonder why Jamie has to try to cause trouble in your relationship with Steve...does he want you for himself or is he jealous or is he just so miserable that he can't stand to see another couple so happy? As long as you and Steve know what he is doing, even if you don't know why, I'm sure you both will be fine!

    Sending lots of prayers and positive energy your way.


    1. Thanks Cat. I don't know why Jamie does it. It does seem to happen more when he and Missy aren't getting along so maybe it's just a misery loves company kind of thing. Now that we're aware of the fact he's doing it, we can be more vigilant. It just burns me up, though, because whenever she comes to me because she's upset with him over something, I try to help her find an objective view of the situation and encourage her to talk to him before she makes a hasty decision.

  2. I'm glad it doesn't affect your relationship with your friend too much but I can't believe someone could be that nasty. Actually, yes I can.... I've seen it happen to friends before :( It's just wrong when people do the opposite of support other couples in their marriage and relationships.


    1. Thanks Callie. You would think another couple would be supportive of a couple's efforts to strengthen their marriage, but I guess there are some that just like to tear them down.

  3. Hi Dana,

    I think it was wonderful of Bobby to share this with you, He and Tina are indeed good friends. Forewarned is forearmed as they say. Now you realise this, you'll be better prepared and able to not let him cause problems between you and Steve. Sometimes we are just too close to see it.

    As Callie said, I too am glad it doesn't affect your friendship with you friend too much.


    1. I am so grateful that Bobby spoke up Roz. I know it couldn't have been easy for him because he's aware that we've been friends with the other couple a lot longer. I have a lot of respect for him for speaking up.


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