Friday, February 28, 2014

A Softer, Subtler DD

I can remember several points along our journey where spankings disappeared and DD seemed to flounder. At those times, I was frustrated because it seemed like we were stuck, not making progress, or, even worse, going backwards. Over time, I've come to realize I was looking at those times wrong. DD wasn't gone. It just took on a softer, more subtler flavor.

It's been that way recently. Spankings have been few and far between. We haven't even been doing role affirmation. There really hasn't been a need. After nearly two years of this journey, I know what Steve expects from me. In the beginning, it was something I had to be conscious of. Now it's ingrained.

It's the more subtle things that show he's in charge. I've been sick this past week. Since he knows I tend to lose my appetite when I don't feel good, he's been reminding me to eat, even if it's only some toast or a bowl of soup. He's been after me to let go of the 20 things I insist I need to take care of before I can lay down so I'll go rest. When he woke up in the middle of the night to find me shivering with a fever, he got up to turn up the heater and throw another blanket on me. He's been calling or coming home every day to check on me.

We recently got our health insurance back so we were talking about scheduling doctor appointments. I happened to mention I was overdue on my yearly female checkup. Since he knows I have a family history of female issues, he insisted I make that appointment ASAP. And he followed up the next day by asking whether I had made it or not. I hadn't so he then demanded to know why not.

It's been more than just taking care of me, though. He's also made it a point to help me. Twice now he's cooked supper for our family. Mind you, Steve does not cook. But he knows that while I love to cook, I sometimes get burned out on it doing it day after day so he's stepping in (without me asking) and cooked supper.

When we had company coming recently, I was stressing about the house, trying to figure out how I could get everything done before they arrived. Instead of just telling me it would be fine or giving a general clean the house order, he jumped right in to help giving me specific tasks to do. As a result, instead of shutting down because I was overwhelmed, things got done so fast that I was left with time to just relax before they arrived.

And then there's the sweeter side. He's taken to surprising me with little gestures here and there. Giving me a backrub out of the blue without me asking. Stopping on his way home to pick up one of my favorite treats, Calling during the day just to tell me he misses me.

I'm beginning to like this softer, subtler DD. I just wish I'd recognized it sooner.


  1. That sounds wonderful! Amazing how a little perspective changes everything :)

  2. Hey Dana :)

    You sound happy and content. It's the little things in life that we end to stop and see. Little gestures, little shows of affection, they mean so much more and we should never take it for granted. I'm so happy for you guys x

  3. Sweetness! That sounds really nice, a quiet understanding and being cared for well. :)

  4. Oh, have to love the softer side of DD! If it were all just spankings and orders it wouldn't be as fun :) Glad that the two of you seem to be staying connected, even with a subtler flavor.


  5. Hey Dana...this post really made me smile...not the part of you being sick but the part you Steve taking care of you. Please make and attend that checkup.


  6. Yes, I agree the softer side is over looked by acident a lot. Have a good weekend.

  7. I read this the other day, but did not end up with time to reply, sorry. I love this post. :). And I love how seriously he takes you taking care of yourself. Doesn't it make you feel special to know he worries because he wants you around with him as long as possible? :)

    {{{hugs}}} EsMay

  8. Sometimes the sweet, gentle, caring, taking care of you, side of DD, is the best feeling in the world. I'm glad you've been feeling that lately. :)


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