Thank you for all the great questions. Steve has been crazy busy lately between work, job interviews and helping his friend renovate their kitchen so it took me a little time to catch him and get his answers.
Kimberly Pinkcheeks asked "Is there anyone irl that you would like to recommend DD to that you think could benefit from it?"
This one was a tough one. We know several couples that could benefit from the things we've found with DD-a stronger bond, more intimacy, less fighting, etc. However, I'm leery of suggesting it to these couples because of the husbands. I don't think they're capable of putting the needs of the wife, the relationship and the family before their own wants. I would be concerned that they'd abuse the authority they'd have as HoH.
Es May asked "If you were to meet a new DDer, what would be one piece of advice you would give them? Steve? And to do all over again, is there anything you would change about how you went about it the first time?"
Dana: My advice is to be patient. And I mean that for both the submissive and the HoH. The submissive needs to be patient while the HoH figures out the right way for them to lead (which might not necessarily be what you pictured in your head). The HoH needs to be patient and understand that even if the submissive asked for this change in the relationship, we're still going to struggle with it (and even rebel against it) at times.
As for what I would change, that's a hard one. We needed to go through some of those bumpy patches so we could learn and grow from them. I guess if I had to choose one thing I'd change, it would be being more vocal. Instead of waiting and hoping Steve would figure out what I needed or wanted, I wish I'd spoke up more so he wasn't floundering around in the dark.
Steve: My advice would be to be consistent. As for what I would change, I would take my own advice and be more consistent.
Katie asked "What is one thing that you have found the hardest to conquer on your DD adventure? What has been the easiest in both your eyes, and in Steve's?"
Dana: The hardest thing would probably be accepting a punishment I didn't agree with. We did talk about it first and he gave me a chance to explain why I thought I shouldn't get it, but in the end I accepted that it was going to happen. It doesn't happen very often though. Most of the time I'm in agreement.
The easiest thing was asking for his okay on things (well most of the time anyway). I've always made a habit of asking if he minded before I bought something expensive, invited company over or volunteered to do something so it wasn't a change to check in with him first.
Steve: The hardest thing is finding the time when I've got a lot going on. Sometimes DD has to take a backseat because I don't have time to do role affirmation or punish for a rule that was broken.
The easiest thing was finding my favorite implement. In his defense, he did think pretty hard on this one, but that's all he could come up with. And he does have a thing for wood, ugh.
Cat asked "What is your favorite guilty pleasure (good, movie, tv show, etc)? "
Definitely books. I love to read and if I like a book, I want to keep it to read again later so I have a ton of books. While Steve isn't big on books (he doesn't have the time anyway), he doesn't say much about them because he knows I feed my addiction by buying used at thrift stores and yard sales. The only time he says anything about my reading is when the stack on the bedside table gets too high or I don't get my chores done because I was too caught up in a book. And yes, that's happened a few times.