Thursday, August 28, 2014

I See the Light

As you guys know, I've spent a good chunk of the last couple months frustrated over lack of time together. Steve has been fairly patient with me through, regularly reassuring me that his schedule would eventually calm down. But it was really hard for me to see the light at the end of the tunnel because it seemed like every time that was on the horizon, something happened to keep it just out of reach.

Today when he came in from work, he asked me to join him in the bedroom, saying he needed to talk to me about a few things. It threw me for a loop because I had no idea what was going on. But I headed into the bedroom to see what was up.

Once we were sat down, he handed me a piece of paper. I looked at it. It took me a minute to realize it was some kind of schedule. He gave me another minute and then told me to look for the yellow squares on the C row. I looked and noticed that each week only had three or four yellow squares. But I still didn't know what all that meant.

So he explained it. C schedule means he works from 7 am to 7 pm. The yellow squares are the days he's scheduled to work. He'll work two to three days and then have two to three days off. Basically it works out so he works three days one week and four days the next, alternating through the year. He ends up getting a three day weekend on alternate weeks.

Since they don't want him starting the new schedule until Sunday (apparently their payroll week starts on Sunday), they gave him the next two days off. That means while our daughter is at school tomorrow, I'll have him all to myself. Then we'll have a family day on Saturday.

As luck would have it, the way they have him starting the schedule means he'll be off the next two days after that. Our daughter is out for the holiday on Monday so we'll have another family day. Then she goes back to school on Tuesday and I get him all to myself again.

If you need me before Wednesday, just look for the crazy person doing the happy dance.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Update and Meredith's Questions

I've been a terrible blogger lately. School is back in session for all three of us so it's been a bit hectic around here, especially since Steve is still working long hours which means I'm having to pick up a lot of the slack.

I'm registered for five classes this semester. Thankfully two of those are short-semester classes that don't start yet so I'm only having to focus on three right now. Steve is registered for four classes, but like me, two of them aren't starting yet. Considering how labor-intensive the two that have started are, that's probably a good thing. Between keeping up with my schoolwork, helping Steve with his and doing all the beginning of the school year stuff for our daughter, I've barely had time to breathe.

Between Steve's crazy work schedule and all of us in school, DD has been moved firmly to the backseat. Actually, it's more like the trunk. You think it's there, but until you actually go poking around looking for it, you can't really see it to be sure.

I'm more than a bit frustrated right now. The whole point of doing boot camp was to reconnect and get back on track. We did reconnect on an amazing level, but I feel like we're so far from on track right now that the track isn't anywhere in sight.

Frustration combined with hormones led to some poking the bear one day last week. About the time I pushed too far, I realized that it wasn't going to do anything productive. Yes, it would get me spanked, but it was going to leave us both frustrated. Him because I'm bratting and me because it's not really the spanking I crave, but the feeling of his dominance and knowing he's got us.

So we ended up talking instead. I'd like to say it fixed things, but the fact is it just gave me a safe avenue to vent my frustration. Until he's put on a regular schedule (and left on it), we're just not going to have the time. So we're stuck with just getting by with whatever stolen moments we can manage. The work schedule is supposed to let up in another week so I guess we'll see.

In other news, Steve went through orientation this past week and is now officially an employee. He brought home a ton of orientation material, including a book that explains the benefits package. It's even better than I had hoped. Seriously, it's awesome.

I'm really excited about the medical coverage. I was already looking forward to being able to go to the doctor again, but as I was reading through the coverage details, I realized that it covers infertility treatment, at least up to a certain point. If you've been following our journey for a while, you're aware that we've been trying unsuccessfully to conceive another child for several years now. With this insurance, I'll finally be able to go see a fertility doctor.

And now for Meredith's questions. If you missed them, be sure to head over to her blog to do them.

Do your eyes light up when he comes to you?


What sports do you watch together?

Neither of us are really into sports. Every once in a while we'll watch some racing, but that's about it.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is lingerie when it usually ends up in the floor?

10. It may not stay on very long, but it has a very positive effect for the brief time it is on.

Do you watch Netflix' House of Cards?

No, I rarely watch any TV.

What outdoor activity do you do together?

Hiking to waterfalls, although we haven't had much chance to go lately.

What is his dream vacation?

Getting away from it all in a cabin up in the mountains.

What is your dream vacation?

It would be hard to pick just one. Having him to myself in that cabin in the mountains would be amazing though.

What is your favorite book?

There's no way I could pick just one. I love books.

What was your last argument about?

It's been so long since we've had a real argument that I don't even remember any more.

Are there any words that you use that he does not like?

The word no in certain circumstances.

Do you have any restrictions about internet time?

No, but I pay all our bills and do my classes online so it would be hard for him to restrict my time.

Do you have a phobia?

I'm terrified of snakes and somewhat claustrophobic.

When do you melt into his arms?

After a spanking, when he does or says something sweet, after making love, when I've had a bad day and he just wraps his arms around me and holds me...I could go on like this for days.

Are you watching Outlander?


Does your HoH have a motto?

Yes. I've heard "Almost doesn't count." more than once from him.

What question would you ask me (Meredith)?

Would you ever recommend DD/TTWD to another couple?

Monday, August 18, 2014

60 Questions

Saw this over at Heart and Soul.

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? Been having sex with him for almost 10 years now. Why stop now?
2. Opinions on sex before marriage? Definitely, compatibility is important.
3. Is trust a big issue for you? Absolutely
5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? Yes
6. What happened last night? Got a new (to me) couch and decided to reupholster it.
7. Ever have plastic surgery? No, but I'd like to get a little minor work done once I'm finished having kids.
8. Which are better - black or green olives? Yuck!
9. What is the last beverage you had? Cherry Pepsi
10. Ever won a contest? Yes, but not lately.

11. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? No.
12. What are you gonna do Saturday night? No idea.
13. What are you going to spend money on next? Groceries.
14. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? Sure, we're always changing.
15. Can you swim well? Not really. I can stay above water, but I tire easily.
16. Have you had sex today? Not so far, but the day isn't over yet.
17. Regularly burn incense? No.
18. Are you in a good mood? Yes.
19. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? Hell no.
20. What do you want right this second? Well now that I was asked about sex...

21. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? The roots are, at least until I get a chance to fix them.
22. Hot tea or cold tea? Either, although I only drink hot tea in the winter or when I'm sick.
23. Tea or coffee? Tea, can't stand coffee.
24. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? My grandparents. They both passed a couple years ago and I still catch myself trying to call them.
25. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Yes and no. On little things, I'm willing to give a second chance. On big things, I'm not.
26. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? Since we've been together nearly 10 years now, I would hope so.
27. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?  No.
28. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? At work.
29. Who did you last call? The college.
30. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?  Because he's pretty hot.

31. Who would you like to see in concert? Reba McEntire and Kenny Chesney
32. What was the last concert you saw? Travis Tritt
33. Do you tan in the nude? Only on the rare occasion I go to a tanning bed.
34. Are you patient? Depends on the situation.
35. Who was the last person to call you? My daughter.
36. Do you sing in the shower? Not usually.
37. Ever used a bow and arrow? This one time at Girl Scout camp.
38. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Not the ones I've saw.
39. Is Christmas stressful? Yes.
40. Ever eat a pierogi? Yes.

41. Favorite type of fruit pie? Cherry, although an apple pie with the right balance of sugar and cinnamon is a close second.
42. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Race car driver, doctor, judge.
43. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes.
44. Ever been in love? Every day.
45. Take a vitamin daily? When I remember.
46. Wear slippers? Only when it's very cold. I prefer to go barefoot.
47. Wear a bath robe? Occasionally.
48. What do you wear to bed? Depends on the day.
49. First concert? A Christian rock band.
50. Walmart, Target or Kmart? I love Target, but the nearest one is nearly an hour away. Walmart is literally right around the corner.

51. Nike or Adidas? Nike.
52. Cheetos or Fritos? Either.
53. Peanuts or sunflower seeds? Sunflower seeds, although I love boiled peanuts.
54. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes.
55. What is your favorite book? Don't think I could pick just one.
56. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Steve. My sister is a close second, but I can't talk to her about DD.
57. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Friday, for my college student ID.
58. Ever have a deja-vu feeling? Yes.
59. Listening to? Puppies.
60. Favorite cookie? White chocolate macadamia nut.

Friday, August 15, 2014

This and That

Boot camp was a very positive experience for us. We had some productive talks. We both worked on issues that needed some work. And we got a much-needed reconnection after drifting somewhat due to Steve working so many hours these past few months.

But I'm surprised to feel somewhat of a letdown now that it's over. Last Friday morning was the end of boot camp for us. That afternoon our daughter arrived back home, along with my sister and her kids.

My sister has been unhappy in her marriage for a while. Several months ago, she had talked about leaving and we had offered to let her and the kids move in with us. After some debate, she decided to stick it out a little longer. Last week, she called asking if our offer was still on the table.She had had enough. So when she arrived on Friday, her intention was to stay.

Needless to say, that put a serious snag in DD for us. Our daughter is still young enough we can work around her, taking care of things after she's down for the night. Working around another adult is a whole different story. So even though I was starting to get wound up from all the stress, there wasn't much we could do about it.

After talking to her husband (and I suspect getting a huge guilt trip over her decision to leave), my sister decided to give him one more chance. She went home and I thought that we could get back to an even keel.

But we didn't. After only a week of Steve's schedule being back to something reasonable, they went back to the crazy hours. So finding time is now an issue again.

On a good note, Steve's supervisor took him to Human Resources this week to start the paperwork to make him a permanent employee. He got the job through a temp agency and he was really sweating it because he had heard that most of the temps are either let go after 90 days or left in temp status instead of being hired on as regular employees.

But they hired him! He has to meet with Human Resources again next week to go through orientation and fill out all the paperwork. He'll be getting a bump in pay and full benefits. The health insurance doesn't kick in until he's been an employee for a month, but it couldn't have come at a better time because I'm nearly out of my migraine medicine and at $10 a pill, we can't afford it otherwise.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Spanking Aisle 10

Yesterday morning, I went grocery shopping. Early in the morning is my favorite time to go. The store is usually quiet without a lot of customers. The stockers are out so it's easy to find someone if you need help. Plus markdowns on discontinued items or items approaching their expiration date are always done in the morning so I can get the first shot at some major bargains.

I wanted a particular item from the freezer case so I headed down that aisle, passing a small group of guys stocking at the start of the aisle. As I was looking for my food, I couldn't help but overhear their conversation. At first, it was typical guy stuff. They were talking about some game. I wasn't really paying attention to them because I was having trouble finding what I was looking for.

But when my first lap through the aisle didn't produce results, I went through it again a little slower. As a result, I was there to hear when their conversation took a very interesting turn. Apparently these guys had got together recently for a cookout. While the cookout was going on, the wife of one of the guys had said or done something (I missed that part) and he had taken her inside for a short period of time.

One of the other guys asked the first guy what he had said to his wife when they went inside because her eyes were really red (presumably from crying) when they came back out. I nearly choked when the first guy responded that he had told her he wasn't putting up with that attitude and added the comment that his wife's eyes weren't the only thing that was red when she came back outside.

I tried telling myself that I was reading way too much into what I had overheard. You know how everything seems to take on new meaning with DD. But then the conversation continued and it became obvious that my initial impression was the correct one.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Almost there

It's amazing how fast this week has gone by. It seems like just yesterday I was nervously awaiting the start of boot camp. Tomorrow, our daughter will return home and company will arrive. So after the morning spanking (and possibly the after-work one depending on when everyone gets here), that's it for boot camp.

I've decided that I need to quit answering the phone when I have chores to do. Tuesday, I only got part of my chores done because my friend called and then showed up. While Steve did address it, he gave me a little leeway on it since it was an unexpected situation.

Yesterday, my sister called upset. I spent a good chunk of the day talking to her and ending of having to rush to get one of the two chores I had finished before Steve got home. There just wasn't enough time for the other one. Since he's already gave me some leeway the day before, I wasn't really expecting to get that lucky again.

When it came time for the after-work spanking, he spanked with his hand for a while. While it got a bit stingy at some points, it was mainly tolerable. Then he stopped. After a few minutes, I asked if he was done because I wanted to go take my shower. Scrubbing floors (the one chore I did get done) is dirty, sweaty work and I was feeling pretty grungy.

I was expecting him to say yes so I was halfway to the bathroom door when he told me he wasn't done and to get the paddle. While I was digging for it in the drawer, he told me to bring the rubber paddle too. My feelings on the rubber paddle are similar to my feelings on the wood one. I hate it. It's thuddy and stingy. It also builds heat so I'm left with a warm bottom long after other implements tend to wear off.

The spanking was definitely on par with a punishment one. The chore that I hadn't gone done was one that had carried over from the day before and he was not happy that it still wasn't done. The fact that it's also something we have a rule about didn't help either. It didn't take long before I was promising to take care of that chore first thing in the morning before I did anything else.

Afterwards, we snuggled for a bit and then I went off to take a shower. While the water wasn't exactly kind to my sore bottom, I was grateful that I hadn't showered before the spanking like I almost did. There's something about getting spanked fresh out of the shower that always seems to make it hurt more, even if you're careful to dry off completely.

Then Steve took me out to dinner, making sure to open and shut all doors for me. It's a little thing, but I actually feel cherished when he takes the time to open a door for me. The fact that he's made an effort to do this simple little gesture for me all this week means a lot to me.

Later when it was time for the bedtime spanking, he first told me to strip down. Then he told me I could keep my pants. I have to admit I was surprised. He almost always spanks on bare bottom, but this wasn't the first time this week he had chose to spank over clothing. So I asked why.

Apparently he was concerned about how my bottom would take getting so many spankings in one week so he figured that if he let me keep my pants on for part of them, it would help me tolerate it better. While I knew that most of the spankings I've got this week were on the milder side, I hadn't realized why.

Once Steve said that, I realized that not once has he pushed me outside my comfort level. In fact, he's been very careful to stay well away from getting anywhere near the edge of my comfort level. So despite the fact that he was holding the rubber paddle in his hand (I guess now that he's remembered we have it, he wants to use it more) and I had the option to have a little protection, I stripped down.

It wasn't exactly mild, but I don't think mild is really possible with the rubber paddle. But it also wasn't punishment level so it was mostly tolerable, although I got a bit squirmy towards the end when he started focusing the swats on my sit spots. Those spots are tender with any implement.

Afterwards, we talked about a little bit of everything, including how we feel about the boot camp itself. I admitted to him that I had been a little nervous going into it. One, from reading others' experiences, it seems that not everyone agreed on whether it was beneficial or harmful.

Two, the intensity was a concern. That's a lot of spankings in one week and I wasn't sure whether it would be too intense for us. I think the fact that we designed our own instead of following a set schedule is what really helped us with that. While I have received a lot of spankings this week (more this week than I had in the last couple months in fact), he's been very careful not to push me too hard.

We both agree that so far, it has been a wonderful, beneficial experience for us. We've grown much closer, more connected as a result. Steve's got better with warmups and I've got better with holding position (something I've struggled with since the start of DD). We've done a lot of talking. It really has been great.

This morning's spanking wasn't as mild as most of the mornings have been. He went over the chores while spanking and I think he wanted it to serve as a warning of my bottom's fate this evening if I don't get that one chore done again.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Best Laid Plans

The thing about trying to work in boot camp around our real life is that life sometimes gets in the way. After our small bump yesterday, I figured we would be good for the week. Life thought otherwise.

To make a very long story short, my friend is between houses right now. She got kicked out of her last place in retaliation for filing a complaint against the landlord. She found another place, but it wasn't going to be ready until a few days after she had to be out of the old place. She ended up putting her stuff in storage and our church stepped forward to put her family in a motel for a couple days until the new place was ready.

Yesterday, she showed up on my doorstep in tears. Apparently the previous tenants had did major damage to the new place and it wasn't ready on time. They have family in the area so she had called them, only to get a bunch of excuses why her family staying with them wouldn't work. She was freaking out because she had nowhere for her kids to sleep.

When Steve came in, she was still here. I went out to talk to him and explain the situation. He was in agreement that he really didn't want them staying with us. Aside from the fact we don't really have the room, especially since I have company coming later this week, them staying with us would mean giving up our week of alone time (not to mention boot camp).

Her husband got off work a little later and we all sat down for a discussion. Ultimately, since the repairs on the new house were supposed to be done within the week, we ended up helping them get into one of the weekly efficiency apartments in town.

By the time we got them settled, it was dark. Needless to say, the after work spanking didn't happen. The bedtime spanking did happen, although it was really mild. We did more talking than spanking. Our discussion was about what had happened the night before. It was a good talk and we both apologized for our part in it.

This morning's spanking got skipped as well. Steve got up late and didn't have time to do it without being late for work. Since he's still in his probationary period with the new job, he couldn't be late. He did take a minute to tell me why it was being skipped so I was okay with it. I'm surprised to find that I did miss it though. Even though it does involve a spanking, I really like that we've been taking the time to connect in the mornings. I'm actually debating about asking him to continue it after boot camp is over. Maybe not every morning, but a couple mornings a week.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Have I Mentioned... much I hate the corner?

Shortly after posting yesterday, I texted Steve with my confession about not getting up on time. I wasn't all surprised when he texted back that I was in trouble.

The question was how much trouble I was in. While I've had a bedtime for a while (a rarely enforced one), he's never put a rule in place about when I had to be up. And since I don't know whether it's a rule that will continue or simply something put in place for boot camp, I wasn't quite sure how he'd react.

A minute later, another text came in. Corner time for 15 minutes.

Now corner time is a bit of a new thing for us. Up until a month or so ago, I had never been sent to the corner. But now that he's tried it out, he's decided he likes it. The more I go, the more I find that I don't like it. It's boring staring at a wall for 15 minutes.

So off I went to do my 15 minutes of penance. When it was over, I texted him back that it was done and asked if I have ever told him how much I hate corner time. He texted back yes and even added a smiley face. Grrr!

When he came in, we talked some more. Then it was on to the second spanking of the day. He chose the turner and the wood paddle for it. I tried to tell him it wasn't fair to use two wood implements for a spanking, but he just reminded me that it wasn't my decision. It's not easy to argue with logic like that.

That spanking was more intense than the previous ones, more along the lines of a punishment spanking, although technically it did include punishment over not getting up on time. It also ended up going longer because every time I squirmed away, he added more swats, making sure those penalty swats were harder. I don't even want to think about how many swats got added. Apparently I'm a slow learner when it comes to that.

The bedtime spanking and evening discussion ended up getting skipped because he had a headache. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, since I was still pretty tender from the previous spanking, I was relieved. On the other hand, I was a little annoyed. The whole reason we're doing this boot camp is to get back on track and get back to being consistent. Skipping part of it defeats the purpose.

This morning when he woke me up for the before work spanking, the annoyed part had gained the upper hand. So I was a bit cranky and not feeling at all cooperative, which isn't good when your HoH already has your gown flipped up and more than one implement on hand.

Thankfully, sanity returned before I earned myself too many penalty swats. Once my bottom was tingling, he went off to take a shower and I lay there thinking. When he came back from showering, I was surprised when he started swatting some more. He wanted to talk about my chores for the day and I guess he wanted to be sure he had my attention. He definitely had it. It's never a good idea to ignore a HoH with a paddle in his hands.

There's something about these morning spankings that really gets to me. I don't know if it's because me being woke up for the spanking means my defenses are down and I haven't had a a chance to get all independent. Or if it's because of the feeling of vulnerability that occurs when I realize he's fully dressed and I'm bare or close to it.

He left for work after that. I just couldn't go back to sleep so I got up for the day. I did some more thinking and decided that I needed to let him in on what's going on in my head. Normally I text if he's at work, but I had a lot to say and didn't feel like sending multiple texts so I emailed instead since I know he has access to email on his phone.

Apparently he hadn't saw the email yet because he didn't mention it when he texted to ask if I was up yet. I told him about getting up after he left because I couldn't sleep and about sending him an email about it. He just said ok. Now I guess I'll have to wait for his response.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Boot Camp Begins

After a lot of research and discussion, we decided to go forward with boot camp. Our daughter is off visiting her cousins and we have the house to ourselves this week.

The structure we decided on is three spankings a day-before he leaves for work, when he gets home from work and at bedtime-ranging from mild to severe. Each bedtime spanking will be followed with a discussion of something related to DD. There is zero tolerance on all rules, including the ones that are usually not enforced. During the day while he's at work, I'll have chores and/or submission exercises to do. Submission exercises may be given in the evenings while he's home as well.

Boot camp opened last night with a bedtime spanking. We had planned to start earlier in the day, but life interfered. One of Steve's friend's had asked him for help with a small project. Since it wasn't supposed to take that long, Steve agreed to help. But it took a lot longer than expected.

He started with an over-the-clothes warmup by hand, although it was a bit lopsided as I told him later. Then he moved on to the wood paddle. I was allowed to keep my pants, which surprised me since he usually insists on a bare bottom.

It had the feel of role affirmation with a little ooph added at the end. Steve went through all of our rules, talked about the ones I had been slipping on lately, and added that he would be watching closely this week. He also mentioned something about adding a rule about wake up times, which has me a little wary as I do like to sleep in.

Our discussion was on implements. As I've mentioned before, I think his reliance on the wood paddle has played a role in me not reaching the point I need to get to. So we talked about bringing some of the other implements in for spankings. I also mentioned the fact that I've noticed him avoiding the implements he sees as milder. I suggested he might consider those for warm ups at least.

He woke me up at 5:30 this morning with the leather paddle. As Steve spanked, he lectured on respect. He mentioned an incident that had happened over the weekend where I got snippy with him in front of someone else. The fact that he wasn't happy about the snippiness didn't surprise me, but the fact that he was unhappy I did it in front of someone else did. In a little over two years of DD, that's the first time he's said something about disrespect in front of others.

Before he left, he warned me that he didn't want me sleeping too late and that I was to be up no later than 9. While he didn't say "or else," it was understood. I set all three alarms on my phone to make sure I was up. Then I somehow managed to sleep through all of them, not waking up until a quarter after 10. When I woke up, I saw a text from Steve had came in a few minutes earlier asking if I was up so I quickly responded that I was. I'm not looking forward to telling him that while I was up, I had just got up when I responded.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Keep Calm

Rogue asked everyone to post their favorite Keep Calm. I have a lot of favorites.

Not sure Steve would agree with this one.

This would probably be his response.

Sounds like a good idea.


Especially when this is the case.

Because sometimes you just need it. 

Gotta love that.

Sounds like good advice.

That works too.

Let's hope.

For when the judge or your HoH was looking.


Because eye candy is always nice.

Advice I'm always happy to take.

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Morning Musings

I woke up early this morning. I'm not sure why, but I was wide awake at 4 am. After tossing and turning for half an hour in an attempt to go back to sleep, I gave up and got up for the day.

This was a bit of a switch for us. Steve is normally the morning person. Even if he doesn't have to be up early for work, he naturally wakes up around 7. Our daughter usually wakes up a little later. If he's not working, I generally sleep in while they go out to breakfast. My philosophy on mornings tends to be something like this.

I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself since I'm not used to being up that early. Generally, if I'm up at 4, it's because I haven't gone to bed yet. So I wandered around the house, caught up on email and played an online game for a bit.

About seven, I slipped back into bed with Steve. I briefly debated the wisdom of waking him up on a morning that he could finally sleep in, but after a quick under-blanket grope, I figured he wouldn't mind. He didn't.

Then it was off to the kitchen to fix breakfast. Bacon, eggs and cinnamon rolls. Our daughter woke up as I was bringing him his plate so I threw her a plate together before sitting down to a leisurely breakfast.

Not a bad way to start a Saturday.