Thursday, April 23, 2015

Some Needed Stress Relief

As you know, I've been under a lot of stress lately. Another layer got added yesterday afternoon when I spoke to my mom. Both my middle sister and my dad are having major health issues. Prayers would be appreciated.

I have been hinting to Steve since last week that I need him to step up and help me deal with some of this stress. I've told him I'm frazzled, that I'm feeling off balance, that I'm feeling overwhelmed, etc. When he's jokingly said "Do you need a spanking?" when I'm being feisty, I've told him yes. Yet somehow all those clues seemed to go right over his head.

Last night when he was running down his list of things to do today, I told him that I needed him to make some time for me. He agreed and I made up my mind that when we had our time, I was going to crawl across his lap so there was no mistaking what I needed.

When I woke up this morning, I was a little annoyed to find that he wasn't even here. I let it go, figuring I could take the opportunity to work on schoolwork. By the time he finally came home, we had an hour before our daughter would be home and I was in the middle of a test so I couldn't stop what I was doing.

By the time I got done with the test, we were down to around half an hour alone. I was annoyed, which is why I told him to forget it when he said we could take advantage of what time we had left. But he was persistent so I followed him to the bedroom and then stared across the bed at him until it finally clicked in his head what I've been hinting at for a week and he urged me across his lap.

He started slow with just his hand over my pants. Then a few minutes later, the pants came down. Eventually he moved on to the wooden turner, which although it's stingy is more tolerable than the paddle. Whenever it would reach the level that I was struggling to take it, he'd switch back to his hand for a bit. It was somewhat of a leisurely spanking with lots of talking and encouragement. With every swat, I could feel the tension melt away.

When he finished, we were down to just a couple minutes before our daughter's bus would arrive. Then he surprised me by bending me over the edge of the bed for a very quick quickie. Although it was fast, it hit all the right spots and the last of the tension slipped away.

Now I'm feeling calmer and ready to face the world again.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Ask, Don't Dictate

The last few weeks have been a bit hectic. When I sent my daughter off for the week, my plan was not only for time alone with Steve, but also time for me to be able to work uninterrupted on schoolwork. The semester is nearly at an end and I have a couple big projects to finish up, as well as studying for finals. Needless to say, her early return home put a kink in that plan. So I have been scrambling to get everything done in time while working around her.

On top of all this is the house-hunting aspect. I never realized how much work goes into buying a house. There was a ton of paperwork for putting our offer in. Then the seller countered our offer so I spent nearly a whole day negotiating (Steve was at work) to find a number we could all live with. Then we had to redo the offer paperwork to reflect the number we finally settled at.

That's just the house. I'm also gathering all the paperwork for our mortgage and calling around to get quotes on title insurance, homeowners insurance, a lawyer for the closing, someone to do the inspection and probably a few more things that I can't think of right now.

In the midst of all this, I'm also going through stuff and packing. Our lease is up later this year so whether we get into a house of our own or not, we have to be ready to move because there's no way they will let us stay once the lease runs out.

Needless to say, I'm struggling to stay on top of everything and stressed to the max. I was up late last night studying for the two finals I had to do today. I completely forgot about the dishes until I was on my way to bed. It's a rule they have to be done before bed, but I was flat wore out. Normally Steve's pretty lenient about letting them slide if I'm busy and if I ask him first, but he was already asleep so I took a chance and left them. He noticed this morning, but let it go because he knows how busy I am right now.

Today was crazy. I had two finals, a quiz, a discussion and a huge project that were due. I was ready to pull my hair out, but I managed to get it all done. Then I had to scan and upload some more paperwork for our mortgage application. Once again, I was wore flat out, which is probably why I made a critical mistake.

Instead of asking Steve if it was okay for me to leave the dishes another night, I told him that I was leaving them. His response of "Do you want a spanking?" made it clear that I had crossed the line. I did apologize, but not without receiving a warning that in the future I should be sure to ask, not dictate.

I think I will take him up on that spanking though. Even though he let me off with a warning so I'm not in trouble, I need some stress relief.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Some News

So our week to ourselves didn't turn out exactly like we had planned. For starters, our daughter unexpectedly got homesick so we had to go pick her up two days after I dropped her off. The two days she was gone Steve had to work.

Once she was home a few days, she decided to spend the night at a friend's house. Steve and I jumped at the opportunity to salvage at least a little bit of our week alone. But as it turns out, that didn't work so well either. After I dropped her off, I stopped by the grocery store to pick up a few things we needed and somehow managed to pull something in my back while picking up a case of soda. So I spent the night doped up on pain pills. He had to go to work the next morning so that was the end of that.

In other news, the settlement check for Steve's accident finally arrived last week. We had found a house online that we liked and would be able to pay cash for so I set up an appointment to look at it in person. It turned out to have some major drawbacks (bad location, skeevy looking neighbors, among other things) so we ended up not buying it.

Over the weekend, we submitted an application to get pre-approved for a mortgage. While my in-laws did offer to cosign for us, we didn't like all the conditions their offer came with so we figured it was worth a shot to see if we could get one on our own. So we submitted the application, said a prayer and hoped for the best.

On Monday, the mortgage guy called us. We are not only pre-approved at the amount we asked for in the application, but can actually go higher. He gave us the go ahead to start seriously looking at houses and put in an offer if we found one we liked.

That evening, I sat down at the computer and went through all the listings in our price range. We ended up with a list of 20 houses. We've spent the last two days driving all over looking at each one to see whether it was worth setting up an appointment for a tour. By the time we had drove by every one, we were down to just 2 houses.

I called our real estate agent yesterday afternoon and set up an appointment for us to take tours. We looked at both houses this afternoon. Both were nice, but the second one was as close to perfect as we're going to find. It's in a great location and has nearly everything on our wish list. The one thing that it doesn't have is something that was more of a want rather than a must-have.

We liked it so much that we went straight from the house to our agent's office and put in an offer.

Technically our offer is a backup offer since there is already an accepted offer in the system, but the existing offer is contingent on the buyer being able to sell their house before the end of the month. If they can't sell their house in time, their offer expires and then the seller moves on to our offer.

I feel bad saying this, but I'm praying that the other people can't sell their house in time. I want this house. Of all the houses we've looked at, this is the only one that felt like somewhere I'd like to put down roots and stay a while.

So please cross your fingers, say a prayer or send some good vibes our way. If all goes well, we could be homeowners in the next month or so.

Friday, April 3, 2015

Learning Experience

I have a tendency to get worked up when life throws me a curveball. This can bring on a wide variety of emotions from anxiety to fear to anger and everything in between. Steve is my safe place so he usually is the one that gets to deal with these emotions.

Sometimes this can be a problem, though, if I feel like he has some blame for the curveball. When that happens, I have a tendency to vent anger at him instead of to him. As I'm sure you can imagine, that usually doesn't go over well.

Today was one of those curveball days. Since our daughter is out of school next week for Spring Break, she decided to go stay with my sister for a few days so she could hang out with her kids. Since my mom is going to have my other sister's kids for at least part of that time, she'll actually get to spend time with all her cousins on my side of the family, something that she usually only gets to do at Christmas.

Since both of our cars have been a little contrary lately and I don't like driving the truck (not to mention it's a gas hog), it was a bit of a toss up what I would drive for the trip. After some debate, I decided to take the car that has been running better lately.

It ran great all the way there and nearly all the way back. I was almost to our exit when it started acting up. Since sometimes letting it sit for a few minutes will fix the issue, I pulled into the rest area. Halfway into the drive, it died on me. Thankfully the two cars that came flying in behind me saw me in time to stop. Otherwise I would have got hit.

It took me close to five minutes to get it cranked again. The entire time I was praying not to get hit. When it finally caught, I took off with a squeal of tires, something I never do, but I was trying to move in a hurry before I did get hit. I managed to just make it to a parking spot before it died again. Then it wouldn't crank.

Steve's at work so I texted him. I wasn't expecting him to come rescue me, but I was hoping he might have some suggestion so I could get it home.

He didn't answer.

I sent a second text.

Still no answer.

No answer from the third or fourth text either.

By this point, I was getting a bit steamed. I know he keeps his phone in his pocket on vibrate. I never text him while he's at work unless it's important. For me to send four texts in a matter of a few minutes was a clear sign that something was wrong. But he wasn't answering.

Granted, it wasn't a dire emergency. I could have called someone to come get me or just walked three miles down the interstate to get to our house. But it made me mad. And the longer I sat there waiting for a response, the madder I got.

I was still mad when the car finally decided to start so I sent another text.

It said "Don't worry. I fixed it myself." and I included a picture.

Even though I was in a hurry to get home before the car acted up on me again, I had to stop at the grocery store for a couple things. While there was a chance I would get stranded again, the grocery store is literally right around the corner from our house so I chanced it, figuring I could walk home if it didn't want to crank when I came out..

As I was walking around the store, it hit me. I could stay mad and let it carry over and ruin our time together while our daughter is gone. Or I could take it as a learning experience in letting go of anger from life's curveballs.

I chose to take it as a learning experience.


He did eventually text me back and followed it up with a call to make sure I made it home okay. Apparently, although his phone vibrates impressively when sitting on our headboard, it's hard to feel the vibration when it's in your pocket. He didn't even realize I had texted until he went on his break and checked his phone. So I'm glad I chose to let go of that anger.