Thursday, March 31, 2016

Pregnancy Update and Answers to Your Questions

The baby is doing well. We're almost 17 weeks now. At our appointment last week, he (while we haven't found out sex yet, Steve is convinced it's a boy) was measuring right on schedule. He was quite active on the ultrasound, waving his little arms and legs.

I'm doing okay. For the most part, the morning sickness and exhaustion that I had through the first trimester has eased. Now that I have more energy, I joined the local recreation center and have been going swimming several days a week.

At our last appointment, the doctor gave us a scare. He said he heard some abnormalities with my heart and insisted I see a cardiologist. It had us freaked out on multiple levels. One, I have a strong family history of heart problems, including a somewhat rare heart condition with no cure. My mom has that heart condition and has already outlived her prognosis, but is starting to fail. Two, he made it clear that any heart issue would risk us out of his practice, which would leave us scrambling to find another doctor. He wouldn't even schedule our next appointment until I went for the cardiology consult, which was really frustrating since our next appointment is where we learn if the baby is a boy or a girl.

When I called to set up an appointment with the cardiologist's office, I was initially told that they had no appointments for at least a couple months. I explained the urgency and they managed to squeeze me in earlier this week. Thankfully, I passed the exam with flying colors. I'm scheduled for an echocardiogram to be on the safe side, but the doctor said he doesn't anticipate it showing any issues.

The whole experience has left us questioning our choice of pregnancy doctors. We're not happy about the way he handled the situation. He made it appear that there was a definite problem rather than a possible one, which caused a lot of unnecessary stress. We're also not happy about the fact that in refusing to schedule any appointments until after I saw the cardiologist, he left us hanging as far as prenatal care. If I hadn't been able to convince them to squeeze me in as early as they did, I would have went without any prenatal care for two months.

After talking about it, we've decided to stick with this doctor for now. We're hoping that this was an isolated incident and not a reflection on his true quality of care. There's also the issue of insurance reimbursement. I had a terrible experience with my daughter's birth in a hospital so I'm pretty adamant about doing a homebirth this time around. This doctor is one of the few homebirth practitioners in the area and the only OB/GYN that does them so we have a better chance of insurance reimbursement with him. With that said, we've begun to research other providers in case we change our minds or he freaks out over something else and decides to drop us.

Now for your questions and our answers.

Cat asked: If time and money were not an issue, where would you travel? Or would you?

There are so many places I would love to go. In the US, I would love to see New Orleans, Alaska, Hawaii, the redwood forest and the Grand Canyon. There are probably more, but those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head. I'd also like to travel to Europe and Australia.

Ronnie asked: How did you choose your blog name? One item on your wish/bucket list.

I've always loved Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken." When I was trying to come up with a blog name, it popped in my head. I saw us at an intersection in our relationship. We could either continue down the more traditional path of relationships (which hadn't been working for us) or we could take a less common path with DD. We chose the less traveled road and it has made all the difference.

Travel is one of the big things on my bucket list. My response to Cat lists a few of the places I would like to go.

Lindy asked: How did you start TTWD? What is your and Steve's favourite implements? Do you both have fantasies and would you fulfill them?

There's a lengthier story about it if you click on the "Our Story" tab at the top of the page, but in a nutshell, I wasn't happy with the way our marriage was (and I found out later that Steve wasn't either) so I started researching ways to fix things. While following links, I landed on a webpage talking about DD. At first, I hated the idea, but I found myself coming back to it again and again. After spending a year researching it and debating about whether Steve would think I was crazy for suggesting it, I finally wrote him a  lengthy email explaining what it was and asking if he would be willing to give it a try. We've had some ups and downs with it, but nearly four years after sending that email, we're stronger than ever.

My favorite implement would probably be Steve's hand. It just feels more personal to me. His would be the wooden paddle.

We've explored a few fantasies over the years so it's always a possibility. However, since some fantasies didn't work out as well in reality, we might choose to keep them in the realm of fantasy.

Lani asked: What are the hardest adjustments you've had to make with pregnancy and ttwd?

Steve has really struggled with the idea of hurting me or the baby. As a result, he's a lot more lenient than he probably should be. While it gives me some wiggle room when the hormones get the better of me (can we say mood swing?), it means he's not as fast to stop me when I'm headed in the wrong direction, which can cause a little issue to spiral into a bigger one.

For me, I think the hardest adjustment is dealing with how protective Steve is right now. He's added rules about not lifting anything heavier than a gallon of milk and not standing on chairs to reach stuff that's up high. He even made it a point to move stuff down from high shelves that I can reach without a chair. I tend to be pretty self-sufficient so it bugs me having to ask for help when I think I'm perfectly capable of handling things myself.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016


It's Q&A Month here in blogland. Being the queen of procrastination, I'm just now getting around to asking for your questions. The month may be half over, but it's not too late to get your questions answered.

What burning questions do you have for me, Steve or both of us? Comment with your questions and we'll do a post to answer them.

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Pregnancy Update

Things are going well. We're nearly to the second trimester, which I'm looking forward to as that's when everyone says the morning sickness and fatigue will ease up. I've been pretty lucky with the morning sickness. Aside from getting sick two days, it's mainly been just queasiness. After having morning sickness from hell with our daughter, it's been a relief, but I'll still be glad when my stomach settles down.

The fatigue has me spending a lot of time in bed. I'm sleeping 10-12 hours a night and taking one or two naps during the day.Of course, that means I don't get a whole lot done these days. Thankfully, Steve and our daughter have stepped up to help. They've been doing a lot of the household chores, sometimes even fending for themselves with dinner, so I can rest.

The dreaded long-overdue spanking happened about a week ago. After some discussion, it was carried out with me on my side, a position neither of us really cared for. It was a lot easier than I expected and strangely reminiscent of the very first spanking he gave me after starting DD. He only used his hand. While I understand why he held back so much, it was still frustrating after having to wait several days for it.

We tried again yesterday. No, I didn't get in trouble again already (well at least not then, later in the day is another story), but I could feel the hormones starting to get the better of me so I asked for a spanking to help. We decided to try bent over the edge of the bed this time. I was a little worried about the position since I prefer ones where we're in contact, but I guess he picked up on that because he made it a point to wrap his non-spanking arm around my hip. He chose to use implements so it was a little more intense than the last spanking, but it wasn't unbearable. We talked afterwards and decided to put weekly maintenance back on the schedule so I don't have to keep asking when the hormones are getting the better of me.

We had our first prenatal. Since my cycles are so irregular, the doctor did an ultrasound to try to get an accurate due date. Unfortunately, the baby was less than cooperative and ran away whenever the doctor put the transducer on me so we only got a quick glimpse. The doctor offered to do a transvaginal ultrasound to try to get a clearer picture, but having had two in the past, I wasn't in any hurry to repeat the experience so I told the doctor I'd just wait until our next appointment to see if the baby would be more cooperative.

After waiting so long to be pregnant again, there were some things I'd forgotten about being pregnant. One being the wild dreams that seem to come with pregnancy. I've always made it a point to try to interpret my dreams, even when I'm not pregnant, but some of the ones I've had lately defy interpretation.

The second is the sex. I had remembered that my sex drive increased while pregnant, but I had forgot about being extra sensitive to touch, how easy it was to reach orgasm and how intense the orgasms are. The other night we were playing around and Steve nearly brought me to orgasm by touching only my nipples. When he moved on to other spots, he jokingly asked how many orgasms I wanted and I told him 10. I was kidding when I said it, but by the time we were done, I'm pretty sure I hit that 10 or at least got dang close to it.

We finally have our house back to ourselves, which is a good thing since we're going to need more space with the baby. As most of you know, my sister and her kids moved in with us last summer. The situation turned into a disaster. Steve was already talking about kicking her out when she unexpectedly announced she was going back to her husband. Within a week of leaving, she realized it was a mistake, but rather than come back, she moved in with our parents. She finally came and got the last of her stuff this past week, which means we can now start rearranging to make room for the baby.

I'm looking forward to setting up a nursery. We couldn't really do it with our daughter because of the way the bedrooms were laid out in the house we were renting at the time. I didn't like the idea of her being on the opposite end of the house from us so we just squeezed her crib into our bedroom. With our new house, all the bedrooms are together so we'll be setting up the bedroom across from us (currently my home office/sewing room) as the nursery.