Thursday, April 28, 2016

Well That Was a Bummer

We went for our appointment last week. Unfortunately, we didn't get to find out whether we're expecting a boy or a girl. The doctor said he couldn't get a clear view. With that said, Steve insists he caught a glimpse of boy parts. So now we have to wait again to find out.

The rest of the appointment wasn't much better. Even though the heart doctor gave me the all clear, he acted like he was doing me a favor by keeping me on. Then he proceeded to reel off a list of things that would risk me out of the practice, most of which were minor issues that are experienced by most pregnant women (for example feet swelling) and not really a cause for concern.

The appointment did little to relieve my misgivings about this doctor. In fact, it bugged me enough that I immediately started looking for someone else. Unfortunately, the two homebirth CNMs that I know of in the area, including the one we've met and really liked, both work under his supervision (a requirement of state law for CNMs) although they have their own practices. So it makes it somewhat awkward if we switch to one of them.

That left us with 3 CPMs. I've got calls into all three. So far two have called me back. From our brief phone conversations, I liked both so I've set up appointments for us to meet both of them in person next week so we can decide who we want to go with.

Our insurance doesn't cover CPMs, which Steve was a bit concerned about since it means we'll be paying completely out of pocket with no chance of reimbursement. However, once I ran the numbers, I figured out that between our deductible and him being out of network, we're going to end up paying all but maybe $1000 of his bill anyway. Since both of the midwives charge less than him to begin with and one is even willing to barter for part of her fee, we'll actually end up paying less even without the insurance.

In other news, I've been feeling the baby move the last few weeks. Last week he even gave me a good kick. He tends to be more active in the evenings. Steve's new favorite thing to do in the evening is sit with his hand on my belly to see if he can feel movement. He says he felt a small kick the other night. Our daughter is jealous because she's normally asleep when the baby gets active so she hasn't had a chance to see if she could feel any movement yet. I told her not to worry because I distinctly remember being pregnant with her and actually watching my stomach move as she kicked and elbowed.

It's kinda bittersweet knowing that this will be probably be my last pregnancy. Steve is adamant that he doesn't want any more kids after this one and wants to get a vasectomy. He knows I'm against getting my tubes tied and, given our age difference, he doesn't want to take the option of having more kids away from me if something happens to him. I did at least talk him into holding off on having it done until the baby is a year old to be absolutely sure that's what he wants. I'll admit I'm hoping to change his mind in the meantime, but if I can't, I promised that I wouldn't give him a hard time about it and I'd even take him to the appointment myself.


  1. Hey Dana...Sorry you didn't get to find out if your baby is a boy or girl but happy everything is going well with your pregnancy. Hope you find a new doctor soon as the way you have sounds like a real a$$. Sending lots of prayers and positive thoughts your way.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

    1. Thanks Cat. It's a shame because the doctor seemed perfect at first and came highly recommended by the local homebirth community. I'm looking forward to meeting the midwives next week. It's driving me crazy having everything up in the air.

  2. Hi Dana, oh this happened with our Grandbaby, she wouldn't show her bits and pieces for ages! I am sorry you are having so much medical help. My DIL is a lovely midwife, I wish we lived in the same place so I could lend her to you!
    love Jan, xx

    1. Thanks Jan. Our daughter played shy on ultrasound until the last minute and then threw out her arms and legs at the last minute so we could find out. I wish I did live closer. That would make things a lot easier.

  3. Hi Dana, I'm sorry you didn't get to find out whether baby is a boy or a girl. Sorry too that you are having so much trouble with the doctor. I hope you find a midwife who you feel comfortable with.


  4. Hi Dana, sorry you didn't find out if your expecting a little boy or girl. Hope you can find a suitable doctor shortly, good luck.
    Hugs Lindy


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